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ronin1
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| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| Visits: | 7 | | Currently: | married |
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Posted: Wednesday May 17th, 2006 07:25 am |
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The Self-Improvement Strategy…
I want to mention a method that I have seen that is well intended but has some unintended consequences if applied incorrectly. Perhaps it really isn’t a strategy… more like a not completely thought out approach to damage control.
As we all know, everyone has room for improvement. In the area of presenting ourselves to RW, some have more room than others. For the average client that uses an agency it would be very likely that a match is made within meeting the first ~30 RW or so.
If a match can’t be found within this number of RW, one must re-examine the fundamentals. Perhaps the pool of Russian Women of that particular agency is too small to have enough potential matches for one’s personality or tastes. Perhaps one is not getting enough mileage out of the interpreter. It could be that there are other agency factors that slow down the matching process. On the other hand, perhaps one is not a typical client after all. Perhaps one is very selective and is looking for that near perfect or near risk free RW. It is even possible that one has a lot of room for improvement in the RW’s eyes.
If one’s inability to find a Fiancée rests on a trend of selecting RW that are unavailable, postpones or cancels dates, is/will be out on vacation or family emergency, is not ready to become married, has just met another WM or has made-up with a former BF, then perhaps a hard look at the mirror maybe in order. In a country with 10s of millions of RW that want to be married, they all can’t be “unavailable.”
If the mirror shows nothing wrong, perhaps outside help is needed to make a more objective evaluation.
For courting purposes, most RW like strong gentlemen. This means grooming, dressing, and acting appropriately of any given occasion. If one is a scratching couch potato that like to rub his balls every 5 minutes, there maybe a problem. Even habits like excessive hand gestures, poor posture, and how one holds himself are scrutinized by RW.
RW are very much into style. They want a man to complement them. A WM that isn’t clean shaven (nix on the beards and mustaches if possible) or has unkept hair will get deductions. Nervous habits like licking or smacking one’s lips, Rubbing sweaty hands, neck ticks, foot tapping, etc. are not going to instill confidence that this is the man for her. The same goes for tapping on tables, bouncing knees and twitches of any kind.
Of course, you don’t have to dress or look like a model in GQ, but T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops will not impress them. Sure, be who you are. Just remember that this is dating for a RW that you may marry. You best foot (not sandal) is suppose to be showing.
One needs to act like a gentleman as well. One needs to take the initative in this. If this is something that one is not accustom to, perhaps some practice in this area maybe in order. Perhaps even dance lessons would help.
OK, so where is the failure of improving on these points? What I see occurring is that those WM that aren’t successful on their first trip may correctly evaluate the root cause as being attributable to themselves. They go into a program of self-improvement to correct the many minor habits that a RW may key in on. So far this is a great thing to do.
The real issue is the subsequent execution and the long memories of RW. The then enhanced WM makes a return visit to the same country, town and agency to see if their efforts will result in a better out come. He will make appointments with the same RW. This action on the surface is a very understandable mistake. It is understandable that the WM is more comfortable in familiar surroundings. In the first visit he became accustom to one town/city and the people in the agency. Meeting the same RW, he can gauge the effectiveness of his improvements. Perhaps he had his heart set on a RW that he had previously met on the last visit that mysteriously became unavailable later.
These are good rational thoughts on the WM’s POV, however the object is to appeal to the RW. As it is said, “You only have one chance to make a good first impression.” For most RW in this endeavor it can be said that, “You only have one chance, period!” It is very unlikely that a typical WM has the time, resources and effort available to sway the mind of a RW that has already decided. They will not waste their time.
If one does decide to go on a personal overhaul, it maybe worth considering going to a different town/city on the next visit. If you are still considering going to the same town/city then at least think about a different agency. Certainly the grass maybe green among other RW that one has not met already.
Ronin
Last edited on Saturday October 20th, 2007 04:19 am by ronin1
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dwfunk
Member
| Joined: | Tuesday March 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 109 |
| Visits: | 3 | | Currently: | married |
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Posted: Sunday November 12th, 2006 10:07 pm |
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Additionally on the "The Self-Improvement Strategy" topic,
Learn and understand the basic woman. Learn and understand the differences between men and women. I've discovered that RW are more responsive to basic "treat your woman right" actions then our local cultural sisters.
Recommended books that are in my library are:
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by Dr. John Gray
What Women Want Men to Know by Barbara De Angelis
In addition, we men must understand ourselves. For example, Dr. Gray's "rubber banding" that he describes men go through. I never knew why I wanted "time alone" and thought that maybe there really was something wrong with me. (OK, no wise cracks from the peanut galley!!) 
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David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/ Moscow, Russia
УЛ. КОНЕНКОВА
16th World Spacemodeling Championships
Last edited on Sunday November 12th, 2006 10:10 pm by dwfunk
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