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ronin1
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Posted: Friday February 17th, 2006 07:15 am |
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WOVO…
Write One Visit One approach is more suited for the hopeless romantic. Well, to be more correct, this is the road that they often take not that I recommend it for them. Forgive my characterization, however one has to assume a substantially higher level of risk with a potential greater reward for beating the long odds. OK, I can play Russian Roulette with the best, but this approach is like playing with one bullet in the clip.
The basic idea is to select one RW that you are near certain (or as certain as you can be) will be your soul-mate. You then correspond with her for a time and then visit only her. The inherent risks are obvious. This approach violates some of the fundamental tenets of the Words in Stone (“Always have a backup plan” and “Don’t fall in love with graven images”). The first question comes up as how can one be certain of a RW from at most a couple of pictures and a few emails, perhaps phone calls? The WM may be certain in his mind, however how can he be certain that the RW feels the same way considering their pragmatic nature?
It‘s a tough call to make and I tip my hat to those few that are successful at this on the first try. Yes, I said first try. IMO, most WM that go this route will fail on their first attempt at finding there lady fair. Love is not fair and gives no guarantees that love will be waiting for them on their visit.
Still, happy marriages do result from this approach. Success depends on ones abilities to know oneself and to be able to evaluate others through the sketchiest of information. This is no easy task if the RW doesn’t speak or write English well. Also, the cultural differences make the field ripe for miscommunications.
Regardless, if you’re driven you can be successful at this approach. Be prepared for failure and have a big bank roll for multiple visits.
RoninLast edited on Sunday December 10th, 2006 01:05 pm by ronin1
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wasson65
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Posted: Tuesday July 25th, 2006 05:40 pm |
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I was a WOVO. To be totally honest, it was more of a WMWOVO, sorta OWW.
I started by contacting quite a few RWs and exchanged a couple emails with several. They were nice enough, but after Lily wrote to me and we exchanged several emails, I was shocked by how quickly she seemed to be head and shoulders above the rest.
We wrote back and forth, I called quite a bit and her sister-in-law translated for us. Over the course of a few months of letters, we truly did develop a relationship. In both our minds we felt compatible, it only remained to see if there was any chemistry when we met. I expected that I would know within 30 seconds of meeting her if we were going to really like each other.
I walked from baggage claim into the terminal lobby at the little airport in Chelny, and there she was! We embraced and kissed for the first time in our lives, and instantly it felt so natural and so right, there was noplace else I'd rather be than with her.
Our time together in Chelny was amazing, I felt so comfortable, being with her was the most natural place for me to be in the entire world. I'm not exactly (ok, not at all) a real "ladies man", but there was never a single moment with her where I felt uncomfortable, nervous, or out of place.
God I love that woman!!!!
I knew she was the one, I knew I could be married to this woman and love it! I proposed, and we were on our way!
I met her mom, she's great, I met her son, I love him to death too, he's wonderful!
So the OWW part of it, in a physical sense, yes I was, but in an emotional sense, we hand known each other for a few months.
Ronin says WOVO is for the hopeless romantics, but I had also been through an uncontentious but devastating divorce from a woman I truly loved, and I had learned a great deal about myself and what qualities I needed in a wife and a marriage, so I had a clear list. I think some of it comes down to being true to yourself and who you are. I would have a very very difficult time jumping from one girl to the next to the next, it's just not me.
There absolutely are risks to the VO strategy, I knew that, but I honestly had no desire to talk or focus on or be with anyone else, just Lily!
Tim
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honestman
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| Joined: | Saturday September 30th, 2006 |
| Location: | Exeter, United Kingdom |
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Posted: Sunday December 10th, 2006 02:29 am |
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| Congratulations to you Tim and well done. I am unfortunately in the worse case scenario. I started writing to my (first) RW in April and we got on so well that we seem to click. I was busy with my work and said that I could not get out to see her until September. We wrote to each other two or three times a week. I sent flowers, wrote letters in Russian (I have never received a letter from her in the mail) We even spoke on the telephone. When I got off the train to meet her, within, I would said, 30 seconds, I knew there was no chemistry between us and felted deflated. She avoided eye contact, and quite frankly I was a bit shocked. In fact having looked at the photos I took, during my stay, her body language is predictable. When she did decide to spend time with me, she was very friendly and attentative. I stuck out the two weeks and the time she gave me, on reflection, was poor. In fact, on my penultimate day there she turned up at the flat I was staying in at 7.30 in the evening. This was wrong. She also has a smoking habit that she hid from me (or so she thought) and her attitude towards this habit was an arrogant one " women smoke in England" Surely RW know that it is a bad habit. I would not have minded if she was open about this habit, but she was not. I tried to discuss the issue, as I do not like smoking. It is amazing how uncommunicative she became when things were not going her way. There were other odd instances that now are clear (yes I am on terra firma now) I was confused over this woman to say the least and did not know where I stood. On the way to the train station for me to come home, she said in perfect english "I love you" I was a little shocked and happy to here those words but she did not look at me when she said these important words. I now realise that she was manipulating me, and I take my hat off to her, I would have done the same if I were in her shoes. The final blow and grounding for me are the New Years celebrations. This is an important time for the Russian people, as they celebrate it more than their christmas. We talked about me going to see her in January (her words) So I ask her when shall I come over. She told me around the 3rd or 4th January. I was shocked by this, as I at least expected to be around at the special New Year celebrations. So I boldly invited myself along on the 30th to her city and her reaction now is one of avoidance. She is wriggling and clearly does not want me there. I realise what this woman was doing and I have feeling she knows I know!! Sadly I am a typical romantic, but a wiser one! It has not put me off RW, quite the opposite, and I pick myself up from the floor and move on. I hope this is a warning to others who are like me and do not suffer like I have (hang on----did suffer!!) There is a longer story but I have tried to condense it, the long version does not make good reading. Any tears I have were left in her city.
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ronin1
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Posted: Sunday December 10th, 2006 03:54 am |
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honestman,
When I got off the train to meet her, within, I would said, 30 seconds, I knew there was no chemistry...
To expound on your caveat... this is exactly one of the big reasons why I don't encourage letter writing campaigns as a method to meet RW. When one is shotgunning it from the other side of the world there are few hits. Thank you, honestman for being so candid.
however your instincts did not abandoned you. The situation always is the clearest in the light of day. As you have found out so well, trust in body language and actions. This is what I love about RW. There are very few RW that are clever enough to really put deceiving actions and words together. This allows the observant WM a ready and dependable method for detecting an insincere RW. Much better is that the absences of such discontinuities is a near certain sign of a true RW.
I'm glad that you see this as perhaps just a set-back. I would write it off as money well spent in RW education.
The long story... give it a try in the 'Member's Stories' forum. That is exactly what it is for. This is a time that will change your life. You will be surprised how writing it down is informative to others as well as the one writing it.
Ronin
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Unfazzed
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Posted: Sunday January 20th, 2008 07:22 pm |
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I don't know perhaps I am a hopeless romantic.. but my reasoning being a WOVO is logistical.. based on vacation time. I have it, but difficult to take long trips.. So I will have to take a few shorter trips. True, all can be lost in the first 30 seconds.. but then I have to go into the backup plan which is "vacation mode".
To be successful with the "O" will require more than one trip (Don't beleive in OWW) and I am prepared for that.
I know that this is probably a less successful route than the WMVM or "tour" strategy but I am also more comfortable with it.
Like Tim, to get to the point of a visit, I wrote and received many letters before I found someone who seems special to me.. There are no "I love you's" in our corespondence, and I don't think there should be until you have actualy met and dated and spent some time together.. but it is a special and hopeful corespondence.
Now in a couple months I will see her in person to see if there is chemistry. I am totaly prepared if there is not. If there is then I suppose things get even more exciting.
So I am a WMNIDFOOVWSWH
Write many narrow it down focus on one visit one see what happens
rinse and repeat if required.
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ronin1
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Posted: Tuesday January 22nd, 2008 08:30 pm |
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Unfazzed,
Good luck with your strategy. It is all a individual thing. If this is what you are comfortable with, then by all means go for it. With luck you will strike pay dirt early, however be prepared for the long haul and the associated costs. There are many that start with this approach and fail. Some abandon the quest while others will change to hopeful romantics. Regardless of the outcome you will have an unforgetable experience and a priceless education in RW.
Let us know how things pan out.
Ronin
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msmoby_ru
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Posted: Monday July 21st, 2008 11:34 pm |
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ronin1 wrote: WOVO…
Write One Visit One approach is more suited for the hopeless romantic. Alternative viewpoint: it is the sensible way to go for a pragmatic , confident guy ! Well, to be more correct, this is the road that they often take not that I recommend it for them. Forgive my characterization, however one has to assume a substantially higher level of risk with a potential greater reward for beating the long odds. OK, I can play Russian Roulette with the best, but this approach is like playing with one bullet in the clip.
Alternative viewpoint : what could be riskier than setting off to the FSU with a list of dates with ladies who will KNOW you are allocating them a small window as if it is some sort of speed date? 
The basic idea is to select one RW that you are near certain (or as certain as you can be) will be your soul-mate.
Alt viewpoint : this is *your* interpretation - I would say a woman you meet during a period of mutual exclustivity of meeting others You then correspond with her for a time and then visit only her. The inherent risks are obvious. Alt viewpoint : how so? This approach violates some of the fundamental tenets of the Words in Stone (“Always have a backup plan” and “Don’t fall in love with graven images”). The first question comes up as how can one be certain of a RW from at most a couple of pictures and a few emails, perhaps phone calls? The WM may be certain in his mind, however how can he be certain that the RW feels the same way considering their pragmatic nature? Alt viewpoint: let's hope the guy has done his "homework" a little better than a few emails and phone calls .. inthis day and age - he should know how she looks, her home tel # and mobile / cell phone # / chat or messenger id / webcam .. blah, blah .. The only things he won't know is how she smells or tastes .. !
It‘s a tough call to make and I tip my hat to those few that are successful at this on the first try. Yes, I said first try. IMO, most WM that go this route will fail on their first attempt at finding there lady fair. Love is not fair and gives no guarantees that love will be waiting for them on their visit.
Alt viewpoint: if you "fail" you will be much wiser ( in yourself) than if you saw many ladies and "failed"... this is not something to rush into!
Still, happy marriages do result from this approach. Success depends on ones abilities to know oneself and to be able to evaluate others through the sketchiest of information.
Alt viewpoint: to go on a WOVO on sketchy info is "folly " - you should be "comfortable" with each other.. This is no easy task if the RW doesn’t speak or write English well. Also, the cultural differences make the field ripe for miscommunications.
Alt Viewpoint: which is why one really should choose a FSUW who speaks English - even then, expect communnication misunderstandings! Remember you are going to marry the girl - you NEED to understand each other Regardless, if you’re driven you can be successful at this approach. Be prepared for failure and have a big bank roll for multiple visits.
Ronin
Alt Viewpoint: : There is no "right" way, Ronin, it's what works best for two unique people ... *I'm* just saying you will be taken more seriously in most cases...you can be "successful" more quickly - you need to be able to afford to travel, or for her to travel to the FSU at least once a year...before and after courting stops and marriage begins..
it worked for me, and that was after I tried WMVM ...
Thanks,
Mark
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RQRose
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| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
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Posted: Wednesday October 29th, 2008 12:54 am |
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wasson65 wrote: I was a WOVO. To be totally honest, it was more of a WMWOVO, sorta OWW.
I started by contacting quite a few RWs and exchanged a couple emails with several. They were nice enough, but after Lily wrote to me and we exchanged several emails, I was shocked by how quickly she seemed to be head and shoulders above the rest.
We wrote back and forth, I called quite a bit and her sister-in-law translated for us. Over the course of a few months of letters, we truly did develop a relationship. In both our minds we felt compatible, it only remained to see if there was any chemistry when we met. I expected that I would know within 30 seconds of meeting her if we were going to really like each other.
I walked from baggage claim into the terminal lobby at the little airport in Chelny, and there she was! We embraced and kissed for the first time in our lives, and instantly it felt so natural and so right, there was noplace else I'd rather be than with her.
Our time together in Chelny was amazing, I felt so comfortable, being with her was the most natural place for me to be in the entire world. I'm not exactly (ok, not at all) a real "ladies man", but there was never a single moment with her where I felt uncomfortable, nervous, or out of place.
God I love that woman!!!!
I knew she was the one, I knew I could be married to this woman and love it! I proposed, and we were on our way!
I met her mom, she's great, I met her son, I love him to death too, he's wonderful!
So the OWW part of it, in a physical sense, yes I was, but in an emotional sense, we hand known each other for a few months.
Ronin says WOVO is for the hopeless romantics, but I had also been through an uncontentious but devastating divorce from a woman I truly loved, and I had learned a great deal about myself and what qualities I needed in a wife and a marriage, so I had a clear list. I think some of it comes down to being true to yourself and who you are. I would have a very very difficult time jumping from one girl to the next to the next, it's just not me.
There absolutely are risks to the VO strategy, I knew that, but I honestly had no desire to talk or focus on or be with anyone else, just Lily!
Tim
Wasson65,
maybe you could have your RW tell us how she felt about you and what you did that convinced her so quickly that you were the one?
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dwfunk
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 12:58 am |
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RQRose wrote: Wasson65,
maybe you could have your RW tell us how she felt about you and what you did that convinced her so quickly that you were the one?
They didn't make it.
-david
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RQRose
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 07:00 am |
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Do you have a link to some supporting evidence that they didn't make it? Or...?
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dwfunk
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 09:20 pm |
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RQRose wrote: Do you have a link to some supporting evidence that they didn't make it? Or...?
I know them . . . .
-david
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ronin1
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Posted: Friday October 31st, 2008 04:51 am |
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Timbo used to run the RW wiki that I linked to. The wiki had been down for a long time and Timbo doesn't return e-mails. Perhaps he has moved on... to where I don't know either.
Ronin
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RQRose
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Posted: Friday October 31st, 2008 03:40 pm |
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Oh, I'm sorry. Well, what do you mean by 'they didn't make it'? Did she return to Russia or did they at least last a few years?
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ronin1
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Posted: Tuesday November 11th, 2008 08:33 pm |
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RQRose,
I can only surmise that he crashed and burned somewhere along the process. Unfortunately, this happens and the reasons are complex enough for the ones in question let alone those on the sidelines, like us. Few AM, if any, enjoy admitting setbacks or defeat in this endeavor.
Ronin
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RQRose
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Posted: Wednesday November 12th, 2008 06:09 am |
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ronin1 wrote: RQRose,
I can only surmise that he crashed and burned somewhere along the process. Unfortunately, this happens and the reasons are complex enough for the ones in question let alone those on the sidelines, like us. Few AM, if any, enjoy admitting setbacks or defeat in this endeavor.
Ronin
That....sucks. =/ Currently I'm saving up for my first trip to Russia. I know a RM who lives in San Jose who's agreed to go over to Saint Petersburg with me where we should be spending a few weeks at his parents house.
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