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ronin1
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| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| Visits: | 7 | | Currently: | married |
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Posted: Sunday February 26th, 2006 10:54 pm |
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Closing the Age Difference Gap…
Age difference as a strategy can be a big mistake in a relationship. It all depends on how it is applied and the individual’s values.
If the average WM pursues a RW where there is an apparent age difference of 20+ years, the risks associated with keeping the marriage alive may well increase substantially. IMO, all things being equal, this is the threshold of a sponsorship relationship or worse.
(Definition: “Apparent age” – Age at which a WM appear to be to the prospective RW.)
One must be clear headed and have a very objective opinion of oneself to make apparent age difference evaluations. When in doubt, ask the RW how old you appear to be and in a different conversation (preferably on another day) ask her what age difference would be her acceptable limit for marriage. The rest is simple math.
To close the gap is not easy. Most of it is changes that the WM has to do. However, there are a few avenues that can be expanded upon to close the gap a bit... A RW takes into consideration how one looks, how one dresses, how ones energy level is, and how one acts.
For example, perhaps a WMs apparent age is 50. However, he maybe in great shape, dresses young, has a high energy level and acts young. This man can perhaps shave off 7 to 8 years off his apparent age. Many of these things can be done if the WM has the desire to do so.
Another avenue is to look for RW that will accept a larger age difference. Don’t be fooled by what is written in the agency RW profiles or personals. The acceptable ages from RW profiles are not often reliable. One can lower their risks by meeting RW that have lower expectations. This direction may get one married, however as the RW adapts to their new married situation, the problem of age gap can arise again.
In general, trying to use a maximum acceptable age gap as a criterion for marriage is risky business. When skirting the edge between a real marriage and a sponsorship/GCG relationship, it doesn’t take much to slip into the latter.
Ronin
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