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ronin1
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Posted: Saturday September 9th, 2006 05:04 am |
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What is this Process Like?
The obvious thing is that this endeavor is not an easy one. If it were, then WM would be flocking to Russia and the FSU in droves to meet Russian Women and for good reason. The fact is that they are not and that is a blessing in some respects.
To recap, the typical profile of a guy that is really serious about this endeavor is about 40 something, above average intelligence, financially sound and just recovering from a recent divorce. He has the where-with-all to arrive at the conclusion that the divorce (or any long term relationship) was doom from the beginning. It is not a defect of the people involved, but perhaps of society from which they where raised. This thought alone maybe enough for a WM to make that leap of faith, whether conscious or not, to the possibility of pursuing a woman from a different society.
To make such a leap implies that one is hopefully ready for change and in this endeavor change is more than a mere certainty. It has been said by many that it is the longest rollercoaster ride of their lives. I can attest that this is and will be true for most.
On an emotional level it will bring one to new highs and lows. There will be many gut wrenching times when one experiences a budding relationship abruptly falling apart. Worse is when a relationship has been developed for some time and seems to end for no good apparent rhyme or reason. Some relationships will seem to be on the fast track to collapse and then it is saved from the brink and draws the two even closer still. Such contrasts of highs and lows are not uncommon in Russian relationships and help instill a closeness that is not seen in non-confrontational societies.
It starts from the thrill of realizing the possibility that your life’s dream still can be fulfilled. It spills over in deciding which of hundreds of beautiful Russian Women you will consider visiting. Then perhaps elation sets in of the number and quality of mail responses. This of followed by romantic rapture of developing sight unseen relationships. Then the fateful first visit and first contact. Perhaps she is the one. Most likely she is not. After dating several more RW you may start to get jaded. They are all gorgeous but don’t have that spark going both ways that you are looking for. You start to lose hope that you will ever find your soul mate. Then when you are about ready to throw in the towel… bam… out of the blue you meet her. The chemistry is unmistakable and you feel the sparks running up and down your nerves. An ecstatic whirlwind romance and proposal ensues. Then comes the first big downer in going back home and waiting for the visa approval. Many can’t stand it. They are hooked and have to visit again in 3 months or less to ease the RW withdrawals. For some it is real pain to go back to the life as it was before RW. Then the RW arrives in your home. You heart will be lifted with a short sweet interlude. Then the realization of the enormity of the difficulties that are ahead can allow doubt to creep in. For the time being you suppress your doubts since you have a marriage to take care of. Then a jubilant marriage and romantic honeymoon will wash your doubts away… for a while. Then when the honeymoon is over the upheavals will begin in earnest. The RW’s homesickness, temper tantrums, packed bag test, ultimatums will take you to your breaking point and beyond. Each episode is like going through a coaster’s loop-d-loop. If these breakups and makeup’s invigorate and make you stronger your marriage will survive and grow deeper. Over time the ups and downs will sooth out to occasional gale storms as the RW truly becomes sure that you are committed to her. That is smooth sail in my book.
This whole roller coaster thing is not happenstance or coincidence. You are not entering the twilight zone though it may appear that way at times. You are now entering the Russian world of male-to-female interplay. At times it is lighthearted, loving and soft, while others are a demanding physical pursuit. It will grab you deep within your soul and then bring you close enough to touch the sun. It will be the best of times and the worst of times. It will be the time of your life that you will never forget, especially if you bring home a Rwife. She will not let you forget these moments of sadness, happiness, sorrow and utter ecstasy. She is a RW and that is what she does and is.
Ronin
Last edited on Monday November 17th, 2008 08:34 pm by ronin1
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Rattlehead
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Posted: Sunday September 10th, 2006 05:56 am |
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Ronin, very good post. Please elaborate on the "Packed bag test" and "ultimatums." I'm filled with idealism and hope, but I know I need a balanced picture of this to deal with it intelligently and be successful. ALL women play mindgames, but if I can have as many warnings and tips about mindgames peculiar to RW then I'll have a leg up. Sometimes women play games where your first instinct is all wrong and I'm convinced it's a calculated test. This may be what you are speaking of.
Rat
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ronin1
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Posted: Sunday September 10th, 2006 12:42 pm |
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Rattlehead,
You questions maybe answered in these links: RW and Mind Games and RW's Packed Bag Test and RW Temper Tantrums
Ronin
Last edited on Sunday September 10th, 2006 12:50 pm by ronin1
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Rattlehead
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Posted: Sunday September 10th, 2006 01:13 pm |
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Thanks for the help Ronin. I'll be happy to see the conclusion of the "packed bag test" thread.
Rat
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Quest
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Posted: Friday September 15th, 2006 04:02 am |
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Interesting process indeed Ronin!
- Accept the fact you have given up on the local population in hope of finding the perfect mate; therefore, maybe trying in Russia is an option (regardless whether it is your first or second marriage or ....)
- Accept the fact you will try to find a reputable FSU web site to begin the process of searching for your "one and only" - Okay so some credits were lost by the company and buying the Platinum package really wasn't that expensive - so far I am in fairly cheap ...
- Glean every kernal of information possible on the country, customs and pitfalls that might impede the searching process - 12 roses are bad? Why??
- Buy some names of lovely ladies - I haven't written a real letter since univertsity and now I will try to write to 20+ women simultaneously? Ouch!! Can you say writer's block
- Begin communicating - what do you mean her Level 2 of 5 means my lovely English letters makes no sense to her? I know an easy solution to save money on translation services - buy an English to Russian translation software program! What do you mean my new computer translated letters come off sounding stupid and illogical to her? Okay maybe I should look for women with a higher level of English ability or pay the translation fees that seem to be more expensive than the price of gasoline
- Send the first batch of 20 leters and wait, wait, wait - damn I am getting impatient and you know there is a new batch of lovely ladies in this week's postings so why not send another 20 letters out - remember I did buy the Platinum package!
- BOOM - now the responses start to roll in and I feel swamped at trying to respond to everyone - How do those popular ladies write back to all of those men sending them letters? No time for writers block now! Quantity not quality is the mantra I keep repeating! Maybe this week's ladies will have my perfect mate - okay send another 20 letters - BUT NO MORE!
- Narrowed it down to 6 and that means now I have to go over to Russia - some of them are getting impatient - Which way to travel first? East to West or North to South? How far apart is Novosibirsk, Rostov, Moscow and Vladivostok? Can I fit another lady in St. Petersburg in?
- Even my travel agent thinks I am nuts! Visa application for what? What do you mean they don't take VISA or MC in Barnaul? I know it's in Siberia, and they have bank machines so what's up with no credit cards? I am going to be carrying a lot of cash into Siberia ....
- Landed in Sheremetyevo okay but speaking no Russian sucked going through customs. Damn they have a lot of taxi drivers waiting once you clear customs!!
- Long story shortened (another bunch of posts) - finally found my one and only - it only took 4 trips and $$$$$ but I am happy and she is fantastic!
- Last thing I have to do is get the paper work done back home with the Canadian government which should take weeks? Months? ...
So which part of the process was the toughest? Ask a parent about raising a child and they will tell you each age presented another set of unique challenges! Same feeling about getting married to a fabulous Russian lady - there were times I was prepared to throw in the towel and looking back if I knew had to do it over again i could have saved time, money and lots of frustration IF I had found a site like this earlier. The process overall lacks pleasure but the end result for me was worth every once of pain! I would do it all over again!!!!!!!!
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Rattlehead
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Posted: Saturday September 16th, 2006 10:12 pm |
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Quest, thanks for adding. I'm glad things finally paid off for you! I love hearing stories like yours. They give me hope, encouragement and inspiration. I hope I can have success to.
I think the same as you do. It's quite a monumental undertaking, but boy will it be worth it if I succeed. Nothing in life worth doing is easy.
Rat
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Quest
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Posted: Sunday September 17th, 2006 06:56 am |
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Good Day Rattlehead,
There is no way to know before the process starts what will happen - I can tell you that you are the master of your destiny in this process!
I had found one lady in Siberia and I thought we had hit it off perfectly- so just prior to my leaving Russia I hired an interpreter to make sure we were both on the same wavelength and I asked her to marry me and move back to Canada - she said NO!! I was devistated - no way to disguise it - she said I was a great guy but she wasn't ready to leave her city, her family and the security of her motherland as she understood it. In hindsight if the roles were reveresed and I had known a woman for 3 months of letter writing and 2 weeks together, would I leave Canada to move to Siberia? Maybe not and if I had even the slightest doubt I would decline any offer too!
As you start to look at beautiful women on the various web pages remember that they are usually pre-screened, and you are seeing some of the most beautiful Russian women. So I have a few words of advice that you might find useful before you start this process ask yourself these questions:
- Close your eyes and picture your ideal mate - what would she look like? Tall, short, blond, brunette - can you see your ideal mate? Does she have large breasts, long legs, long or short hair? Is she fair skinned or tanned? Is she a rugged outdoors typ or more of a feminine lady?
- Is she educated and if so you would like to marry a doctor, an engineer, a teacher or a saleswoman? Maybe you want to marry a housewife.
- Does she have children? As in North America, the divorce rate is almost 50% in Russia, so chances are you might see your dream mate on a web page but she has a young child or perhaps she is 30 with a 12 year old child. Are you ready for an instant family?
- Is she a young dynamic professional woman from the big city or would you prefer a more modest woman from the rural areas. The first woman I asked was from a city of greater than 1,000,000 people in Siberia, BUT she had never traveled outside of her own regional area! The thought of moving to a foreign country was a scary for her as was going to Moscow for the first time!
- Does she smoke or drink?
- Would you want a woman who only wants to stay at home as a housewife or do you expect her to work?
- Most Russians have one child - do you want several children? What does she want?
- If she's close to 30 and the biological clock has kicked in - are you prepared to get married and have children immediately if that is what she wants?
- I believe that the accepted age difference of almost 15 years is too large an age gap. My Russian wife's daughter married a Russian man almost 13 years older than herself - and in the end even this Russian couple had too many problems that ended in a divorce (remember the 50/50 rule?). Try to find a woman near your own age - the temptation for me at 45 to pick a 28 year old gorgeous Russian beauty was tempting - but only for as long as it took me to look at my "IDEAL MATE" piece of paper attached to my monitor!
I am not suggesting for one minute that you have not thought about some of these questions already, but therein lies the problem - you are traveling 10,000+ miles to meet a woman and maybe before you look on the web pages at all of the possible gorgeous woman in every concievable size, shape and color - just maybe you should havea real clear picture WHAT KIND of woman you want to meet and hopefully marry!
My situation was unique to me, I was 45, divorced with 2 kids in their 20's and the luxury of a professional job that allowed me to travel to Russia actually on a "business trip". I knew that the woman I met would be near my same age, with older children hopefully not living at home with us and I wanted to marry an intelligent professional woman who could work in her profession once she arrived to Canada and had settled in. I could not imagine any woman arriving to Canada in her late 30's or early 40's and have nothing to do till retirement! Because of my first rejection by a Russian woman, I also knew that I wanted to meet a woman who had traveled extensively for pleasure and or business because she would hopefully be more worldly and less likely to refuse to move away from Russia.
I think for most part men make a huge mistake when they look at too many web pages to early in the process. There are thousands of beautiful, sexy women and each new web site brings more women to cloud your judgement.
Before you get to far into the process, ask yourself those questions up top - write your answers on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor - then when you are looking for your ideal mate - keep referring to your "ideal mate list" and be true to your quest for the ideal mate.
If you know what you want before you get to Russia Rattlehead - your chances of success are almost guaranteed! Good luck and I hope you find the woman of your dreams in Russia!
Quest.
PS: The woman I described on my "IDEAL WOMAN" paper taped to my monitor during my quest is EXACTLY the woman I ended up marrying! Plan your quest and work your plan!
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Rattlehead
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Posted: Sunday September 17th, 2006 05:54 pm |
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Quest,
Very good advice indeed. Do you think that a woman from a big city like St. Petersburg or Moscow would be more willing to move away (then a more provincial girl) even if she hasn't traveled much or at all from her area? What if I became fluent in Russian? Would a RW look at it as weak if I were willing to move to Russia for her? I'm not saying I'd jump into it, but I'm open to the idea because I hate this society. I know Russia isn't some fairy tale land where they have chocolate rivers, children play in fields of candy canes and gumdrops fall from the sky, but it's not all "multicultural" and it's not being colonized like we are and like Western Europe is.
As far as my idea for my ideal mate, sometimes I think it's TOO specific! I've noticed that I've been very rigid about who I'd even consider contacting. She has to have long blonde (or red) hair and blue (or green) eyes, medium, not thick lips, fair, not tanned skin, no tattoos or odd piercings, soft but not cherubic features, be between 5'2" and 5'11" tall, around 100 to 120 lbs, slender and delicate yet shapely, perky breasts on the small but not non-existant size, long beautiful legs and firm, tight ass. LOL! I am one picky bastard! Now you see why I can't find a decent woman here! She also must be intelligent, educated (preferably speaks English well), cultured, yet not pretentious or arrogant, social mores and politics on the conservative side, feminine, sincere, honest and communicative and not temperamental, flaky or given to tantrums. And she can't use drugs, smoke or drink heavily. I'd also prefer if she's financially stable so I'm not paranoid about her being a GCG or something like that. Like I said, quite a rigorous criteria. However, I'm much more likely to find a girl even close to this in Russia than over here. Especially one that is single. Over here you can't date a girl even remotely like that unless you drive a Porsche and have a bank account to rival Donald Trump's.
I know I have my youth going for me, but my biggest downfall is that I don't have a lot of money. I'm not living in poverty, but visiting Russia will be a financial strain. This will be a big hurdle. I'm going to look into ways to get there that won't cost me much like teaching English there, and/or being a courier, etc. If you have any ideas or info about this kind of thing, let me know.
Thanks for all the advice. It's nice that people take an interest in my search.
--Rat
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Quest
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Posted: Monday September 18th, 2006 05:36 am |
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Rattlehead I am not qualified to answer some of your questions, I would like to help you but there are only 2 people who have the real answer to all your questions.
Those two people are you and the Russian lady you choose to get serious with. Every woman is different whether she is Russian or North American. So what I think about a certain situation is irrelevant - it is what your specific woman thinks that matters and the only way you will ever know is to narrow down your search and ask her.
Most Russians who have a decent job take an annual holiday every year out of the country. Where they go depends on how much disposable income they have. Many Russian women from the major centers such as Moscow or St.Petersburg can afford to go to places like Turkey or Egypt becasue the excursion holidays are quite reasonably priced from the larger cities. As a woman's disposable income increases (or her boyfriend agrees to pay), then she can look at Europe - perhaps Spain or maybe exotic Asia. So the woman you are seeking may have traveled outside the country on holidays and where she has traveled will have hopefully opened her mind to the big world that awaits. Her willingness and desire to travel for holidays I believe has a direct bearing on her willingness to even consider moving to another country such as the USA or Canada.
The first Russian woman I got serious with had never traveled outside of her local region within Siberia. In the end she would not move to Canada - in hindsight I don't think she would have moved to Moscow!
The Russian woman I did marry had traveled throughout Europe, Asia and most of the middle east. The thought of coming to Canada did not pose an insurmountable obstacle for her - perhaps just a large leap of faith!
So maybe a question you might want to consider asking is whether or not she takes annual holidays? What places has she visited on her holidays and what country did she enjoy the most? I honestly believe that a woman who does not enjoy traveling, will be much more hesitant to emmigrate regardless of how lonely or miserable her current life situation is. Don't ever be afraid to ask any woman you are serious about IF she has considered the idea of moving to your country permanently.
You are considering moving to Russia? Until you have visited this vast and remarkable country, please reserve your judgment! Just as every Russian woman who has ever considered moving to another country must weigh all of the alternatives, Rattelhead you must make an informed and not an emotional decision!
Becoming fluent in Russian takes years, perhaps even a life time and I dont think any Russian woman expects this from you, although the gesture would certainly be welcome. I think you have to make an effort to learn the language - but fluency in Russian is a pipe dream at this point.
Going over to Russia to teach English? Russians universally respect education more than North Americans do, so based on the limited number or non-Russians teaching english that I knew - you probably would have to hold a university degree(s) to teach at an institute of higher learning. Teaching privately is perhaps an option, it would almost certainly pay better than teaching at any of the smaller universities. As for the courier aspect I have no idea! Moving to Russia and not being able to work would make you a liability to any woman - the last thing she would want is a man who can't or chooses not to work.
Rattlehead I can appreciate your financial dilema but my advice is to save up some money, narrow down your search to several women (perhaps 5-6 in fairly close proximity to each other) and make your first trip over to Russia. I suspect the country and its lovely women will amaze you just the same way I was blown away. If you get fortunate, you might meet Mrs. Right on the first attempt - again maybe not!
The jouney you are embarking on to find a Russian wife has more uncertainties than absolutes. So follow the KISS formula:
- Get financially ready for the quest
- Know what your dream mate should be like
- Narrow down the field of ladies to a managemable number perhaps 5-6
- Plan your Quest before you leave for Russia and work your plan when in Russia
- Be prepared for the possibility of several trips
- DO NOT try to impress your Russian lady with your wealth! Be honest with her about your real situation as she will almost certainly be honest with you and see which woman will accept you for who and what you are. Remember a large part of this process relies on the fact when you meet your one and only - LOVE will prevail over the fundamnetals of economics.
Rattlehead get some cash saved up, go over and meet some ladies and find a future Russian wife then get on with your life. As long as you are not trying to meet a very young 18 to 24 y.o. Russian Lady, I suspect you will meet women who are as serious about this process as you are!
Sorry for the verbal diarrhea, but I made every mistake in the book during my quest - I hope you can learn from my errors and others who have gone before you! Good Luck.
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RQRose
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Posted: Monday October 27th, 2008 07:21 pm |
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Rattlehead get some cash saved up, go over and meet some ladies and find a future Russian wife then get on with your life. As long as you are not trying to meet a very young 18 to 24 y.o. Russian Lady, I suspect you will meet women who are as serious about this process as you are!
Sorry for the verbal diarrhea, but I made every mistake in the book during my quest - I hope you can learn from my errors and others who have gone before you! Good Luck.
You say that RW from the ages of 18-24 are unsuitable for marriage?
I'm 27 and I just don't date girls that are older than 24...by the time girls are 25 they're so jaded and set in their ways that I don't really like being around them. Often they're arrogant or desperate, or they have old boyfriends that they're still 'friends'(screwing) with and they deny it!
I had a sitch where a girl was trying to get with me romantically, but I KNEW the guy she was screwing and he collected her underwear(!) and she STILL lied to me straight to my face, like it's ok for her to have sex with another guy while she's trying to get with me??? AWs are players WAY more than guys are, they're just smarter about it, and keep it on the DL, keeping all the guys in the dark.
I've been considering moving to Russia to work as a TEFL. I have an MBA and a Cert in TEFL/TESOL, as well as teaching experience in the Public School system. I've already been offered jobs in China and Taiwan for $2000 a month. I think I could make $1500 a month maybe with raises up to $2000 a month, and probably privately tutor on the side for $20 an hour...
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ronin1
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Posted: Monday October 27th, 2008 08:27 pm |
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RQRose,
Welcome to the RWPrimer!
I think that Quest was refering to is the common point that many RW in the 18 to 24 year range are often too inexperienced to really decide what is a good husband for them. This is their "starter marriage" age where they find out be trial and error. For the average WM that goes the RW route for love and marriage, this is a more riskier RW age range than say... the 25 to 30 year old range.
That being said, your age is far from the average WM that is looking to go to Russia. As such, the 18 to 24 RW age range maybe less riskier for you, still it will not changes the RW experience level. Tou can check out the thread on the "Best RW Age" through this link: http://rwprimer.com/forum2/191.html.
Yes, you seem to have the background to have a go at teaching the English language in Russia. If you are really motived to do it, go for it. It will be the experience of your life! The problem is that once you get yourself established there, you may find it hard to keep your interest to one RW at any give time .
Good Luck!
Ronin
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RQRose
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Posted: Monday October 27th, 2008 09:41 pm |
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WHAT!? LMAO!!!! I'll have a hard time keeping my interest to any one Russian girl? REALLY???
NOooo. I'm not the type to gorge myself. I'm more the type that chooses EXACTLY what he wants.
As suggested in a another forum, I wrote out exactly what I want in a girl.
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ronin1
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 08:54 pm |
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RQRose,
I know, I know. Still, have an open mind. Perhaps NOW you can keep your mind on one woman, because their maybe one woman that meets your criteria in your local area. However, you will not be prepared for the Russian experience. You can read all about it in these and other forums but it will not even approximate what your actual experience will be. It will blow your mind. You will be like a kid in a candy shop. So much to choose from and so little time.
If you live there, then you will have the time to sample all your favorites and then some. If you live there you will start to adopt some of the Russian cultural practices. Teaching English to a classroom full of RW that are hoping to find a foreign husband... with YOU right in front of them every day! Perhaps tempting to any average AM... but not you. I tip my hat to you.
Please view this vid: School Girl Music RW school girls competing for teacher. (4:25, checked 5/07)
Ronin
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dwfunk
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 09:37 pm |
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<BigEvilGrin>
You MUST travel in the summer!!!
<AnotherBigEvilGrin>
Wait till that first trip on the Metro . . . . or walking around Red Square . . . or anywhere . . . .
<BigEvilGrin>
-david
Last edited on Thursday October 30th, 2008 09:38 pm by dwfunk
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ronin1
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Posted: Friday October 31st, 2008 04:56 am |
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You MUST travel in the summer!!!
<AnotherBigEvilGrin>
Wait till that first trip on the Metro . . . . or walking around Red Square . . . or anywhere . . . .
RQRose will O.D. on the eye-candy!
Well, not like if he would have if he'd gone a couple of years ago. There are less skirts and more jeans now.
Ronin
Last edited on Friday October 31st, 2008 08:17 pm by ronin1
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dwfunk
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Posted: Friday October 31st, 2008 03:28 pm |
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ronin1 wrote: You MUST travel in the summer!!!
<AnotherBigEvilGrin>
Wait till that first trip on the Metro . . . . or walking around Red Square . . . or anywhere . . . .
RQRose will O.D. on the eye-candy!
Well, not like if he would have gone a couple of years ago. There a less skirts and more jeans now.
Ronin
sigh . . . .
Yes, there are fewer skirts, but the jeans are tight!! <G>
-david
Oops! Added the link to the wrong post! Sorry DWFunk.Last edited on Friday October 31st, 2008 08:16 pm by ronin1
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RQRose
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Posted: Friday October 31st, 2008 04:31 pm |
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I'm So torn. I still need more schooling to make good money. P.A. school and then my Doctorate, but I also want to go to Russia...
So the paths are:
More School (2 Years)-> $ -> Russia
or
Russia - > RW -> School -> $
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dwfunk
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Posted: Sunday November 2nd, 2008 10:14 pm |
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ronin1 wrotesigh . . . .
Yes, there are fewer skirts, but the jeans are tight!! <G>
Oops! Added the link to the wrong post! Sorry DWFunk.
You should see the rest of his pics!!!
-david
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RQRose
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Posted: Monday November 3rd, 2008 01:28 am |
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So any advice on the Working in Russia Vs going to school and THEN going to Russia?
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RQRose
In order to keep to the topic, I'm copying your post to a new topic stream.
Please, all members refer to the new topic to address this particular post "Working in Russia Vs Going to School and THEN going to Russia?"
Ronin
Last edited on Tuesday November 4th, 2008 07:52 pm by ronin1
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ronin1
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Posted: Tuesday November 4th, 2008 08:03 pm |
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DWFunk,
Indeed, there is perhaps no better bait ur... lure than the image of beautiful RW to get a AM thinking out of the box and on the first steps in the process of finding a RW soulmate.
Perhap it's mens' bain to be primarily visual. In this case it is a blessing.
RoninLast edited on Monday November 17th, 2008 08:29 pm by ronin1
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RQRose
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| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
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Posted: Wednesday November 5th, 2008 03:20 am |
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ronin1 wrote: DWFunk,
Indeed, there is perhaps no better bait ur... lure than the image of beautiful RW to get a AM thinking out of the box and on the first steps in the process of finding a RW soulmate.
Perhap it's mens' bain to be primarily visual. In this case is a blessing.
Ronin
YOWZA! O_O!
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