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harleyj8u2
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| Joined: | Friday August 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | Lufkin, Texas USA |
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Posted: Monday August 4th, 2008 06:19 am |
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Hello to all.
I have been reading a lot here the last few days, and I wish I had found this site earlier.
I am a 45 year old male, living in Texas. I have long ago decided on searching for a Russian bride, although it seems I have decided to narrow my search on the Ukraine because of the minimal hassle of visas to that country. Besides, my first try was with a lady in Russia, if indeed it was a lady.
My first shot as a newbie, was quite a disaster. I was hit by the most basic of scams. If it was not so expensive, it would have been hilarious. I was quite the bonehead, that’s for sure. I imagine she could still be laughing at me, even though the money has long ago been spent. A story for her grandchildren I am sure. Still waiting for her plane to arrive on her "cultural exchange program" visa. ROTFL.... now anyway. I did some research before my next try.
Came across the second woman in mid 2006. She was quite pretty, and her letters warmed my heart. I did send small sums for translation fees, and this seemed quite reasonable to me. We seemed to want so many of the same things. After about a year, I had to know if it was her or Ivan writing me, so I took a trip to Ukraine. In Late march of 2007, I flew to Kiev, and then to Kharkov, and was met by her. This was not Ivan at all! She was even prettier than her photos. We drove 5 hours to Lughansk. ( My plans, not hers). Should have flow, the taxi was 300 dollars...lol.
I had a wonderful time for the next 10 days. She had to work during the day, so I only saw her during the evening, and the weekend. We seemed to hit it off quite well, and decided to see how we felt after I returned home, so the pressure would not guide wrong. She told me that she had met a man before me, but he wanted sex with her, I figured he thought he was entitled after flying to see her. I behaved the gentleman, and she seemed to appreciate this very much.
After I got home, we decided to pursue this farther. I tried to cheapest route in getting a fiancée visa. I would have been better served by hiring an immigration attorney. I had just about decided to do this, when one weekend, I typed her name in Google. I was just thinking about her and was bored. I seem to have found someone. Sure enough, she was on a scam site. The main report was by someone who matched much of what I was told about the man who visited her. Of course, he mentioned nothing about the sex thing, but it still shook me. Others posted terrible things also, but mostly just flaming. After asking about this, she replied that she told me about him, and that he wrote terrible things to her. I pointed out that she didn’t mention that he posted her on a scammers site. Of course this went back and forth for a couple weeks.
I was informed that her sister was quite worried about e by now, and that perhaps I should visit her again before she came here. I agreed that this would be a good idea. Because of my work schedule, and airline restrictions (the 30 day thing), I purchased a ticket for the end of August. I wrote her over the weekend, telling her of what I had done, and thought she would be happy that I did this on such short notice… WRONG! She got upset that I did not discuss the dates with her, and that she would not be able to meet me that weekend. She asked me to move the dates to mid September, so she would be able to spend some time with me. She was also upset that I made a big deal out of something that she already spoke to me about. I saw it differently, and said so. I replied that my tickets were non refundable and non exchangeable, and that I would be in Kiev at the end of August anyway. I also wrote some things that she took as an insult to her country and her people. I did not mean it like it was written, but reading what I wrote, I would be mad too.
The end game is this. I botched it with a beautiful young lady, who could very well have been scamming me all along. I have tickets to Kiev in August that I will have to eat if I don’t go. I have a flat rented above Independence square, and the reason I am gong is not there. It seems much too late to look for a new lady to get to know. I know enough Russian to get me in trouble, and I don’t have a clue as to what I will do in Kiev for a week. Visit some beautiful churches perhaps? Perhaps some clubs in Kiev on a couple nights. I guess I could visit museums a few days.
It seems I botched this hunting trip for sure. It’s a shame, because I really have my heart set on finding a Russian/Ukrainian bride, but it looks like it might take more research and a bit of luck… Oh yea, and another trip, to find her.
Any suggestions for this old fool, looking to love 6000 miles away? I really am sincere in my search. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, until I knew I didn’t know. I guess I just make the best of things. At least there are the short skirts J I hope they didn’t get rid of them in a year.
You have a great site here, I wish I found it earlier.
J.R.
Last edited on Monday August 4th, 2008 06:21 am by harleyj8u2
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ronin1
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| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
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Posted: Tuesday August 5th, 2008 08:14 pm |
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J.R.
Welcome to the RWPrimer!
Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re in good company. As a matter-of-fact your experience is rather more on the typical side considering your approach and not having had the assistance of the forums on the internet to guide you.
Regardless, you have tenacity on your side. And now you have hard earned experience and a good site to help you glean the true nature of this type of endeavor.
Despite your Russia experience, you will have to be doubly careful in selecting a Ukrainian bride. When I heard you mention Lughansk, I knew you were in trouble. It is well known among the Russian Internet forums that Lughansk has a large concentration of scammers.
Don’t despair. Though I’m by no mean an expert of the Ukraine or Kiev, I know there are many agencies based out of that city. You will have no problem with having beautiful company there. If you meander some of the main avenues you may encounter signs like this that will give any American tourist pause. I found this in annaershova blog July 17th. For the serious minded it is better to plan out your visit before hand as oppose to leaving it to chance.
Best of Luck,
Ronin
P.S. When you return, could you give a “skirt status” of Kiev?Last edited on Wednesday August 6th, 2008 08:12 pm by ronin1
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RQRose
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| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: Thursday November 13th, 2008 09:35 am |
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Do you think he could have gone to her and apologized? Told her what an idiot he had been and how much he Loves Russia and her and how he never meant what he said?
Women are usually very forgiving aren't they? Especially if you add a few tears maybe and bring them a flower? I know, I'm hopeless...
I would worry too though if I found my girl on a scam sight...
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ronin1
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| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
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Posted: Friday November 14th, 2008 08:52 pm |
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RQRose's quote:
Do you think he could have gone to her and apologized? Told her what an idiot he had been and how much he Loves Russia and her and how he never meant what he said? Women are usually very forgiving aren't they?
Yes, he could apologize, however this would be bad form early in a relationship. It would tip the balance of the relationship and show that he is not firm in purpose. A RW doesn't strive to marry an idiot. To her this could be the tip of the iceberg to come in a relationship with him.
Think of it. His first visit that was planned carefully on both sides, he only saw her after work and on weekends. A man that travels to the other side of the world, sight unseen and only for her(RW love this exclusivity). This is a bold gesture. So what does she do in return? Nothing out of the ordinary. She didn't even make an effort to arrange some days off to get better acqainted with her potential husband!
Then he makes an impulsive bolder decision to visit her again (most RW would love this), however gives her a 30 day advance heads up and she gets upset. This doesn't make sense. What is the harm? Most RW are used to the man making the big decisions. She didn't have to do anything out of the ordinary in the first visit.
Perhaps she had already made plans for those days, however what can be more important than her potential husband? Well, there are a couple of things that comes to mind. Perhaps she is not into him and/or she is expecting a visit from another 'potential husband.'
Remember, this is in Lughansk, arguably the scammer capital of Russian. She is listed in anti-scam sites. She is not lifting a finger in effort to accomodate him in anyway out of the ordinary. Of course I could be way off base, however, would any reasonable man want to bet the farm on such long odds?
Forgiving? She is wavying red flags all over.
Ronin
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RQRose
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| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: Friday November 14th, 2008 09:21 pm |
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ronin1 wrote: RQRose's quote:
Do you think he could have gone to her and apologized? Told her what an idiot he had been and how much he Loves Russia and her and how he never meant what he said? Women are usually very forgiving aren't they?
Yes, he could apologize, however this would be bad form early in a relationship. It would tip the balance of the relationship and show that he is not firm in purpose. A RW doesn't strive to marry an idiot. To her this could be the tip of the iceberg to come in a relationship with him.
Think of it. His first visit that was planned carefully on both sides, he only saw her after work and on weekends. A man that travels to the other side of the world, sight unseen and only for her(RW love this exclusivity). This is a bold gesture. So what does she do in return? Nothing out of the ordinary. She didn't even make an effort to arrange some days off to get better acqainted with her potential husband!
Then he makes an impulsive bolder decision to visit her again (most RW would love this), however gives her a 30 day advance heads up and she gets upset. This doesn't make sense. What is the harm? Most RW are used to the man making the big decisions. She didn't have to do anything out of the ordinary in the first visit.
Perhaps she had already made plans for those days, however what can be more important than her potential husband? Well, there are a couple of things that comes to mind. Perhaps she is not into him and/or she is expecting a visit from another 'potential husband.'
Remember, this is in Lughansk, arguably the scammer capital of Russian. She is listed in anti-scam sites. She is not lifting a finger in effort to accomodate him in anyway out of the ordinary. Of course I could be way off base, however, would any reasonable man want to bet the farm on such long odds?
Forgiving? She is wavying red flags all over.
Ronin
You are absolutely right.
I guess I just don't see apologizing as that big of a deal because I am not too bad at the psychological games women play, but these are a whole new set of rules that I am learning.
PM me about my method for turning women's 'withholding-sex ploy' back on them.
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ronin1
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| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
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Posted: Monday November 17th, 2008 08:18 pm |
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RQRose's quote:
I guess I just don't see apologizing as that big of a deal because I am not too bad at the psychological games women play, but these are a whole new set of rules that I am learning.
Indeed, there are many topics in these forums that address the issue of the 'new rules' that apply to RW. Actually, the RW 'new rules' are pretty much the AM 'old rules' of the 1950s.
Currently, AM are being conditioned to being the feminine-side searching 'sensitive male'. For a RW, this has the initial appeal of a weak minded man. This will only attract RW that desire to dominate the relationship.
RW don't consciously employ mind games. There are some natural behaviors that are born out of their culture and environment. An AM may view this as a form of manipulation. Bear in mind that RW are touted as having traditional values...well, this also includes some traditional negative values, also. However, I will gladly and easily deal with this 'seeing it coming a mile away' manipulation verses the AW's contemporary sensibilities (non-sensibilities).
Ronin
P.S. Serious RW don't employ the 'withholding ploy'. If they do, then one maybe a sponsor or stepping stone husband.
Related Reading:
Russian Women and Mind Games RWPrimer intra-link.
Russian Brides and Traditional Roles RWPrimer intra-link.
Last edited on Monday November 24th, 2008 08:03 pm by ronin1
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dwfunk
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| Joined: | Tuesday March 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 109 |
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Posted: Monday November 24th, 2008 05:03 am |
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ronin1 wrote
P.S. Serious RW don't employ the 'withholding ploy'.
Man, oh man is this ever so true!!
You can have "much swearing", you know the kind of encounter you've had with your previous AW; screaming, yelling, she's pissed, you're pissed, and all bets are off, the rest of the day is lousy, it's a major cold shoulder day, and you're seriously thinking 'divorce'
Evening arrives, you head for bed knowing you ain't gett'n any tonight! at least that's what always happened with previous you know who!
And then, here she comes! Out of the bath/shower and she's all dolled up, her most expensive, sexy perfume waifing around her!
At this point, you had better be very good at 'mind games' with yourself!! You need to get all the 'garbage' out of your head ASAP. (FYI . . . the brain is the most potent sex organ)
She's ready, willing and able! 
She is NOT like her American sisters . . . . 
And this is NOT "make up" sex . . .
If she's still upset about the earlier "swearing', she'll bring it up again, tomorrow . . . meanwhile enjoy the evening!!! 
-david
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