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ronin1
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Posted: Monday November 3rd, 2008 08:56 pm |
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RQRose's Quote:
So any advice on the Working in Russia Vs going to school and THEN going to Russia?
RQRose.
I'm assuming that you are asking in respect on how to be most successful in a AM/RW relationship. I'm guessing that you are asking what is better... moving to Russia for life and work vs. completing an advanced degree then visiting Russia to find your one and only. If so, then the below maybe applicable.
This is a tough personal question. Your heart is perhaps saying one thing while you brain is saying another. It depends on how much risk adversed you are. Any MBA would seriously weigh the risks involved before venturing on any limb of a deal. There are indeed risks that are tangable and intangable. The risk to reward ratios must be inline as well. There are also the unknows that keep a high barrier to entry. Sure, you can do the math on this, however to tabulate how anyone will react to the intangables will greatly determine the success or failure in any of these types of ventures.
However there are some thoughts to consider:
Age - In general, the older one is the more one is capable (from a relationship maturity level) to handle a RW. This is not to abe taken lightly. A RW is perhaps like no other woman that you will havecontact with. If you have had no previous experiences with a RW, you may find them incomprehendable because they are strange mix of being pragmatic, allluring, blunt, approachable, superstitous... all with a strange cultural twist that seems counter intuitive to our contemporary Western ways.
Age also can be our enemy in that the younger we are the more impatient we tend to be. Typically a man must have the patience of Job with a RW.
Also, RW may view a man that is close to their age to not be serious.
Yet youth is a friend in that a RW will tend to look a such a man's 'potential' as oppose to an older man's 'assets'. Still, many RW are well aware to the old saying, "A bird in the hand..."
A youger man can has more energy to keep up with a RW's ways and the children she will undoubtly want to have (almost imediately).
A younger man will have an easier time to grow with a RW both financially and in responsibilities.
So for the question of now or later:
Do you want a relationship with a RW or do you want to marry a RW and bring her to the States? You can work in Russia and have many relationships with many RW. Get a great experience and really get to understand Russia and RW. You will perhaps find yourself in a relationship with a RW that meets all your dreams and wishes, then find out that she has no wish to leave her beloved Russia. Or perhaps their are anomalies in her passport that prohibits her from entry into the States. Or perhaps you fall head over heels with a girl that is the apple of a mafia bosse's eye (don't laugh, this maybe more common than you may suspect). There are many senarios that we (WM) don't think of. These are just a few of the unknown complications that can arise.
If your desire is to marry and have your RW State-side then perhaps the lowest risk is to finish up school then go to Russia to find your one and only. However, this route maybe the most difficult if you have now decided that a RW is the answer to your dreams. Then it becomes a question of your aspirations of your education (ability to provide amply for a family) vs. your desires for your dreams to come true now.
I have seen young WM go to Russia on a lark with no expectations in getting serious, yet they fall in love with a gorgeous RW. Then they find themselves doubting their ability to support a RW wife and have to break her heart in doing so. A RW can be a asset not a liability. A RW is very adaptable she can cope with a lot provide that the husband creates a loving stable relationship. Sure, there maybe financial and family crisis... but this can arise no matter how good the circumstances.
How's this for a start?
Ronin.
Last edited on Wednesday November 5th, 2008 07:40 pm by ronin1
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RQRose
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Posted: Wednesday November 5th, 2008 03:38 am |
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"A RW is perhaps like no other woman that you will had contact with."
Which is exactly why I am so infatuated with them. I am concerned that I'm going to get so bogged down in America with the every-day worries that I'm going to put it off, and then I'm going to meet a bloody American girl who I'm going to think is OK because I haven't tasted the RW fruit.
I didn't understand the statement:
"Then they find themselves doubting their ability to support a RW wife and have to break her heart in doing so. A RW can be a asset not a liability."
It seems contradictory. If I marry an RW I would like to marry a teacher, a nurse, or some other very feminine profession, but still I would like her to go to school and get a job until she is pregnant. Still I understand your concerns about my being young if an RW will want to get pregnant as soon as possible...do you suppose she will sabotage the condoms and switch her Birth-Control out for Pez? 
Last edited on Wednesday November 5th, 2008 03:39 am by RQRose
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ronin1
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Posted: Wednesday November 5th, 2008 08:41 pm |
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RQRose's quote:
I didn't understand the statement:
"Then they find themselves doubting their ability to support a RW wife and have to break her heart in doing so. A RW can be a asset not a liability."
If a RW hooks up with a young AM, the changes are that it’s not because of his assets (most young AM have limited amounts of assets). Therefore, it should be understood to them that they will have to do without the lifestyles of the rich and famous to start with in their new homeland. Quite the contrary, they will most likely have to work besides their husband to earn a life together. Despite a RW’s beauty, they are good workers and will what is required to survive, or in America… thrive.
RQRose's quote:
It seems contradictory. If I marry an RW I would like to marry a teacher, a nurse, or some other very feminine profession, but still I would like her to go to school and get a job until she is pregnant. Still I understand your concerns about my being young if an RW will want to get pregnant as soon as possible...do you suppose she will sabotage the condoms and switch her Birth-Control out for Pez?
The way to mostly avoid this problem is to ask her when she expects to have children. If this coincides with your life plans, then you are both on the same page. With RW you have to be blunt, especially if you are on a short visit (assuming that you would broach this issue on a visit).
What seems contradictory?
Ronin
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RQRose
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Posted: Wednesday November 5th, 2008 09:25 pm |
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Sorry, it just seemed like a contradiction for a man to break up with a RW because he cannot support her in America, but for her also to be an Asset in America at the same time.
Do you think that many RW expect to live and never have to work again when they move to America?
I will be able to provide that by the time I am 33, but I would rather marry a Partner who will help me to acquire money and properties all over the world.
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ronin1
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Posted: Thursday November 6th, 2008 08:36 pm |
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RQRose's quote:
Sorry, it just seemed like a contradiction for a man to break up with a RW because he cannot support her in America, but for her also to be an Asset in America at the same time.
I guess that I haven’t made my point clear enough. The young AM didn’t understand this contradiction as being true. Many AM when faced with being able to attract the love of a woman that appears to be outside of their league, often believe that they somehow don’t deserve her… that there must be a catch to this unlikely pairing. This is our cultural conditioning from birth. Consequently, a young AM would rationalize that such a goddess would be high maintenance or that they would have to do something extraordinary (like provide for all their needs) to stay married to her.
Similar rationalizations happen when AM glance at RW profiles of the internet without fully understanding a RW background and culture. This rationalization can lead to a ‘sour grapes’ view of RW in general that dissuades them for considering international marriages.
The fact is that RW deal with extreme hardships on a daily basis. Beautiful RW are a dime a dozen in Russia. In that environment, unless the RW is a 12 on a 1 to 10 scale, most RW don’t see themselves as particularly more beautiful than most. Therefore, they concentrate on the job at hand which is survival… and that means working hard.
RWifes that truly love their husbands will ultimately spend less and get more value from a buck. Americans go shopping with the idea of spending money while a RW goes shopping with the idea of how to lose the least amount of money. Such RW will scour the stores for best value and price. They will cringe and haggle over the price of a $10 dress (originally $150). They will not only make a dollar bleed, but suck it dry before letting it out of their hands. She will easily cut the average AM's household expenditures by 30 to 50%. YMMV.
RQRose's quote:
Do you think that many RW expect to live and never have to work again when they move to America?
There are indeed some RW that expect to be pampered with the good life. Most of these RW will make their expectations self evident (as long as the WM can keep his head out of the clouds). Such RW will be attracted to WM that already have assets, typically older WM that show an ability to provide for them hand and foot. Young WM will not be what they are looking for, however they may not throw away a “ young bird in the hand…” if the opportunity arises.
It is perhaps best for the couple to suffer and labor for the married assets, that way the RW will come to value them and not take them for granted.
Bear in mind that there are all kinds of RW with different dispositions for every need. Some AM want an 'arm candy wife' others a 'trophy wife' or a 'companion for retirement wife' or a 'sponsored wife' or a 'lets make a deal wife' or a 'soulmate wife' or a 'working wife' etc. etc. etc. One had to be wise enough to match their needs with the right RW... that is the real trick.
RoninLast edited on Thursday November 6th, 2008 08:39 pm by ronin1
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ronin1
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Posted: Tuesday November 11th, 2008 08:50 pm |
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RQRose's quote:
Sorry, it just seemed like a contradiction...
RW are a contradiction to many AM sensibilities as far as what they think they know about women. Much of what you take for granted as 'common knowledge' about women must be rethought when it comes to RW. This 'contradiction' is their charm and allure... what AM travel the globe for. Understand and fully appreciate it. For those that don't, it will be the source of frustration and bewiderment.
Ronin
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dwfunk
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Posted: Tuesday November 11th, 2008 11:11 pm |
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Time for a 'counter-culture' lesson moment, or is that a 'culture-counter'??:
RQRose wrote:
"A RW is perhaps like no other woman that you will have contact with."
<snip> If I marry an RW I would like to marry a teacher, a nurse, or some other very feminine profession, but still I would like her to go to school and get a job until she is pregnant.
She will not consider these as 'feminine' professions, and chances are that the system 'selected' her profession rather than the choice being hers.
Her Russian education may or may not be transferable here. A teacher will have to get a 'local' teaching certificate, and a nurse essentially has to start over.
RQRose wrote:
<snip> Still I understand your concerns about my being young if an RW will want to get pregnant as soon as possible...do you suppose she will sabotage the condoms and switch her Birth-Control out for Pez?
Nope!  She will tell you bluntly it's time for a baby and proceed to jump your bones even more than usual!  You must then rise to the occasion, be the man of the family, do your duties as the husband and cooperate with her!!
If she's working and has a baby, she will be expecting to be off one to two years to care for the child, as that's the system there.
-david
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RQRose
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Posted: Wednesday November 12th, 2008 06:19 am |
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dwfunk wrote: Time for a 'counter-culture' lesson moment, or is that a 'culture-counter'??:
RQRose wrote:
"A RW is perhaps like no other woman that you will have contact with."
<snip> If I marry an RW I would like to marry a teacher, a nurse, or some other very feminine profession, but still I would like her to go to school and get a job until she is pregnant.
She will not consider these as 'feminine' professions, and chances are that the system 'selected' her profession rather than the choice being hers.
Her Russian education may or may not be transferable here. A teacher will have to get a 'local' teaching certificate, and a nurse essentially has to start over.
RQRose wrote:
<snip> Still I understand your concerns about my being young if an RW will want to get pregnant as soon as possible...do you suppose she will sabotage the condoms and switch her Birth-Control out for Pez?
Nope! She will tell you bluntly it's time for a baby and proceed to jump your bones even more than usual! You must then rise to the occasion, be the man of the family, do your duties as the husband and cooperate with her!!
If she's working and has a baby, she will be expecting to be off one to two years to care for the child, as that's the system there.
-david
She won't consider them feminine professions? Don't they have professions in Russia that mostly women do? The Male/Female Hierachy of Doctors/Nurses has been passed down from Europe to America...
Nursing School is like Two Years, tack onto that 1-2 Years of Learning English and she'll be great. Teaching is four years, which isn't so bad either. Teaching in a good school is pretty easy and they get a LOT of Paid time off (I was a teacher for a year).
So she'll just say, 'It's time that I have a baby." And she'll jump my bones? BAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Awesome! Yeah I'm SURE I can Rise to the occasion. Actually I think that's the way the system should work anyways.
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dwfunk
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Posted: Wednesday November 12th, 2008 07:58 pm |
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RQRose wrote: She won't consider them feminine professions? Don't they have professions in Russia that mostly women do? The Male/Female Hierachy of Doctors/Nurses has been passed down from Europe to America...
 ahhhh, Grasshopper . . .
First of all, women in Russia do EVERYTHING. Even snipers. (at least in the Great War)
Most teachers are women because there aren't enough men.
All the nurses I've seen are women because there aren't enough men and nursing there is NOT like nursing here. It's also considered a 'lower' job and men just weren't assigned to it by the State.
Most doctors are women because there aren't enough men.
All the cashiers (that I've seen) are women because there aren't enough men.
Feminism as we know it never flourished in Russia. Women have always worked along side their men and the world wars took the men away and left the women to do everything else, literally.
The European to America hierarchy's were squashed and/or never took root in Russia, basically, not enough men to fill all the roles.
Keep in mind also, that Russia was a 'communal' culture long before communism took hold.
-david
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