RW’s Circle of Friends…
To say RW are social is an understatement. It is difficult for WM to understand the bonds that are developed among RW unless you understand their roots.
I was talking to Ivan (a RM) the other day and this point came up in conversation. He helped put things in perspective. RW typically grow-up in the same district in town. Often her family and extended family will live in the same neighborhood if not in the same apartment. She goes to the same school and will have classmates that grow up with her. Often these classmates will be her closest friends for life. They almost never move.
Because they have a social life that is predictable and always there, they have learned that they can rely on this social infrastructure. As such they can also use it as a crutch as if they are so inclined. Bear in mind that this social system has had her whole life to gel and solidify.
This is almost the exact opposite in the States. AW are taught to be independent and that they don’t have to rely on anyone. Often the family moves and the schools change. She doesn’t get too close to her new classmates for fearing another move is looming in the future or that the other classmates will not accept her because she is new to the already existing social circles. Family and extended family are often sprinkled about the State(s). She has learned not to put her trust in such a fragmented social infra-structure, if it can be called an infra-structure at all.
So what does this have to do with us? Perhaps a little to everything. Often, anyone that marries a RW in the typical process can’t expect to be held in high regard, automatically. Sure the title of ‘husband’ engenders a lot… when it is earned. And that is the point. Shower a RW bride with a dreamt of lifestyle in the land of milk and honey will get you one kind of respect. However, this alone doesn’t make a happy marriage. She has to respect you as a man and this takes much more time than a week or month. Often with the typical WM profile and the typical RW it can take a couple of years before full trust in endowed to the husband on a gradual basis.
However, in this transitory time frame, she will often defer to her GFs (especially those that are a little higher up on the learning curve of how to do things in the States) as to what to do. Her frequent calls to her GFs may make you feel like you’re second fiddle to them. The sky-rocketing phone bills may make you resent her and/or her GFs even more.
I tell you now that you are in good company. This goes as part-and –parcel with most all RW. They are incredibly, extremely, tight with their RW GFs. Way beyond anything that you may have experienced with other women. And this is the beauty of it. If one has a serious RW and one can "be the man" for a couple of years… she will be tight with you like nothing you have experiences before. To have a RW prefer your words and to prefer being with you over her GFs is no small feat, however once it is done it is near impossible to break.
When this happens, it is the stuff of legend that the agencies hype. It can happen, but requires great effort, patience, and perseverance. You will be stretched to your limits, but when the dust settles, you will find that it was well worth it.
Ronin
Last edited on Monday January 5th, 2009 02:51 am by ronin1
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