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honestman
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Posted: Tuesday December 12th, 2006 09:46 pm |
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This in an englishman's story of a typical pursuit looking for a Russian wife.
The internet is a modern day wonder allowing us to talk and see people from all around the globe. It also allows us the chance to see some of the most beautiful looking women in the world. By this I mean the former soviet union. We must not forget about the Thai girls and Filipino girls, ( my brother is married to a Filipino and she is a good, hard working woman). However at the moment Russian ladies seemed to appeal to me. Now 14 years ago I married a western woman and we both suffered an unhappy relationship that was doomed before we started. We have two children, and I fell victim to various problems, quite drastic really, loss of job, drinking too much and depression. Divorce was a necessary outcome and with my two children, it was a painful choice. After having been divorced for two years I felt that it was time to move on, I had tried dating on a western dating agency site and I have been out with some women, but something was lacking...so those beautiful pictures of women beckoned my attention. I understood that it takes time, and great effort, as well as money and after what I had been through nothing is going to stop me. The websites are there to entice you and so, I thought, yes this looks like the way forward, especially after reading all the stories of how Russian women make excellent wives. So ok, I do my research and I join a site that is recommended and post my profile. I read that it is best to look smart and show a photo of myself with a shirt and tie (when I took the photo, of myself, I was only wearing underwear at the time, but no one was going to know). So I am prepared, but not quite for the entourage of mail that was about to appear in my mail box............to be continued.
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dwfunk
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Posted: Thursday December 14th, 2006 10:51 pm |
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honestman wrote: . . .
So I am prepared, but not quite for the entourage of mail that was about to appear in my mail box............to be continued.
<GRIN> deja vu!
We look forward to hearing the rest of your story!
------
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/ Moscow, Russia
УЛ. КОНЕНКОВА
16th World Spacemodeling Championships
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honestman
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Posted: Friday December 15th, 2006 10:27 pm |
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So the next morning there are 15 messages from Russian women in my e-mail box. I am like a kid in the candy store, I am sure alot of you men reading this know what I mean. As I start to read through the e-mails, others are appearing. By the end of the day I must of had about 25 messages in all. My profile on a western dating site was more up beat and this time after reading the forums, I toned down my profile and it is quiet basic. I do not consider myself to be a particularly good looking man, so more the surprise. A couple of photos and a brief description, nothing special. In one day of advertising my profile on the site I had received more e-mails from Russian women than I did in six months on a western dating site. I was buzzing. Were these women real? I always do research and suspected that some were scammers, but I decide to reply to about ten e-mails initially and then I would further narrow the e-mails to about three. I am not sure about some men, but I do not think that writing to too many would be beneficial. So I then narrowed it down to three. Their profiles were what I was looking for. When I started on this venture, I did not see myself as wanting too younger a wife, so I decided on women ranging from 35 to 42.(I am 44) I did not realise the significance of my choice but after further research a 40 year Russian woman has had it tough experiencing soviet rule in her early adult life. This is quite significant in my case. After about two or three weeks of e-mailling, one clearly stood out above the others, and I thought I would pursue this particular, very attractive woman. A decision that was miss judged...............
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ronin1
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Posted: Saturday December 16th, 2006 05:19 am |
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honestman:
...a 40 year Russian woman has had it tough experiencing soviet rule in her early adult life.
Hmmm... I wonder where this one is going. Sounds like a good topic on its own.
Ronin
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honestman
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Posted: Saturday December 16th, 2006 09:02 am |
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| So me and my 40 year old RW are e-mailling each other about two or three times a week. Great this feels good, and although I am e-mailling one or two others, we get on well and we ask each other more probing questions. I open up about my divorce and the reasons why, after all, it is my intention to be honest to this woman, who has shown such keen interest in me. She asks me the reasons for my divorce and I tell her all the grisly details. A long a descriptive letter and I felt that I did not have to lie to this woman. We both agreed that for any relationship to develop then there needs to be honesty and trust. I was not expecting her to be so understanding when she wrote back and told me how, in life, we go through these difficult times in our lives and she said, I quote "in Russia we have a saying that life is like a series of black and white stripes" I clearly thought I was entering a white stripe. My seratonin levels are now at an all time high, love is blinding me. I am a keyboard romeo and delight her with subtle romantic notions, that she finds so endearing. I soon ask for her address and telephone number, so I can up the ante........
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honestman
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Posted: Saturday December 16th, 2006 09:19 am |
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I get an important e-mail. This lady kindly gives me her address and telephone number but she was a bit "nervous" My intention was for several reasons. First of all how did I know whether she was a scammer or not? I had read all the stories and was very wary. After all, she still was only a picture on the internet up to now. Also I said I was going to write her a letter. (of which, more later) Another pivotal reason for gaining her address was to send her some flowers. RW love flowers so I researched the internet for a firm that could deliver to her city. I did not go over the top with the flowers. RW are supposed to know the meaning of flowers, so I was careful and sent some "hello" flowers. I was pleased that everything was going right and I awaited her response to this wonderful surprise. I received an e-mail from her and she was delighted and overcome, she said she had alot of warm and tender words for me..... From then on I told her that I was going to come out to see her in her own city. I read that this was a good choice for meeting a RW in her naturally surroundings. I could not go out immediately due to work commitments but the plan was there and so we arranged to meet in the first two weeks of September. This gave me more time by e-mailling to try to learn more about her. So it was to be to be four more months of e-mails and anything else I could do. So far I was doing everything right and it felt good.
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honestman
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Posted: Sunday December 17th, 2006 01:18 pm |
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So by now I am feeling quite pleased with myself. Everything seems to be going right, but I know that in the back of my mind, things can go wrong. I researched alot so I knew that to see her in her own surroundings was going to be so important. We continued the e-mails and I started to write Russian letters to her once a week. I also asked her many times for a reply in the mail, something she was never going to do. She even apologised, saying how difficult it was to try and write a letter in English. I undertood from forums that this is indeed true, so I accepted the reason. She replied "thank you for your understanding" However, I was persistent and asked just for a simple "hello", surely she was able to do this. I also sent her many many photos of all the things RW like, flowers, sunsets, beaches. The weeks were passing by and I set up an account at her agency. I was told, by her agency, that she translated her own letters, so I felt it would help her.
Up to now the word "love" was never mentioned and I was pleased because, I understand, when a RW says these words so soon, it is not a good sign, especially if we had not met. However, a few weeks later, at the end of one of her e-mails, she ends with the word, love and then her name. Innocent enough I thought. Of course I was pleased. Upto now also, she did make it clear that I was her "good friend from england" Ok so now I need to arrange my travel.....
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ronin1
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Posted: Sunday December 17th, 2006 07:49 pm |
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Why is it when things are going so well honestman drops little hints to the contrary. Is it mis-trust that sometimes these forums unintentionally instill or is it just a healthy 'trust but verify' mindset that these forums intend to convey. Perhaps honest man is just a good writer. I know what the odds say, but everyone will have to ride it out to see what happens.
Kudos to honestman for being honest. Here, here!!!
Ronin
Last edited on Tuesday December 19th, 2006 03:02 am by ronin1
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honestman
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Posted: Sunday December 17th, 2006 11:06 pm |
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The first thing I needed to do was to obtain my visa. I had already had dealings with my lady's agency and at $55 dollars I thought they had arranged for this. I thought that was a good price, but realised that it was just going to be an invitation letter. The agency e-mailled me the letter. No problem, but I still had to get my visa. The Russian consulate in my country is easy for me to get to so I went up with my passport, invitation letter, and my completed application form. I queued up outside their building in the morning and waited for the doors to open and was surprised to find a queue so early at 7.30 and the doors were not due to open until 8.30. I looked forward to entering the consulate, afterall, this was the first time I was going to meet someone from Russia!. I had decided on an apartment to stay in,during my stay in my lady's city, rather than a hotel. My lady's agency wanted a sum between $60-$80 a day and I thought that this is a bit steep. However my lady said that she knew of one nearer to her home and much cheaper, great I thought, good enough. At about 9 am I finally entered the consulate. The first Russian to speak to me (an officious young man behind the screen) says to me "this is not our usual form, where did you get it from?" I reply "off the internet". He then says "what hotel you stay in?" I knew I was not staying in a hotel, so I said I do not know yet. He says nothing and takes my passport and papers. I pay my money and have to go back in a week to collect it. I could have paid more money to collect it within a couple of hours, but I decided to go back in a weeks time. A week goes by and I go back to the consulate and again have to queue to get my passport, but a different part of the consulate. A rather nice woman with dark hair, in her early fifties, looks at me and looks me up a down and gets my passport. She said rather joyfully and with deliberate direction "when you go to Russia, please.....smile....smile" I look at her and I smile, " I will, I will" I say......honest. I am pleased, another step forward, to my trip to Russia.
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honestman
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Posted: Sunday December 17th, 2006 11:36 pm |
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So, back to my travel plans. I needed to do some research first. Aeroplane first from Heathrow to Moscow. Simple. However, my lady's city is another 700km east of Moscow. Flight? Train? Car? A flight was my first choice but as an internal flight only going once a day, I ruled this out and besides, a man at her agency said, quote " I don't recommend the plane, it can be a bit bumpy" Fair enough, but in the various forums one man obviously had a bad experience, and he said, quote "IF YOU ARE A WESTERNER DO NOT TRAVEL ON THE TRAINS IN THE FSU" I had read a disturbing report somewhere that the pilots on internal flights, in the FSU and China were not paid so well as other pilots in the world and that their morale was below average. A car was totally out of the equation, so I decided on the train option, ok, it is a twelve hour overnight run, but I thought maybe I could get some sleep (?!!?) . I know there are bad stories of travelling in the FSU, but I know I can handle myself in awkward situations. I was confident enough. I had dealings with a russian man in Moscow, who deals with travel services, and I arranged a taxi pick up from Sheremetyevo airport to Kazanski railway station and also I purchased my first class train ticket, that I had to collect from him Moscow. So far so good. I am in control. Now the travel experience can begin...........
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honestman
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Posted: Wednesday December 20th, 2006 07:54 pm |
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The big day had finally arrived and my check list was checked and double checked. I had fresh dollars (the best) and also many Roubles. Also I had back up credit cards. My arrival at Heathrow at 6.30 in the morning was easy apart from the security. Check in was fine, but due to airport restrictions, internal luggage was to be restricted in size. I was panicking a bit because my flight bag was full of gifts and extended the size. After queuing for over an hour and a half, I finally got through security and by that time there was not alot of time left to board my plane. I was to fly with Aeroflot, and I thought that this might be an excellent opportunity to try some of my limited Russian that I had learnt. I was surprised by how few passengers were on the plane. Many, obviously Russian and two ladies next to me were en route to outer Mongolia for some sort of exploration. There were not exactly in their prime of youth but from listening to their history these fiesty ladies were experienced travellers. The plane finally took to the air and then the flight attendants come round. I say hello in Russian and the air hostess slightly smiles at me. My intrepid explorers ask me how to say please and thank you in Russian and I pronounce the words as best I can. Their efforts were amusing and reminded me how difficult it was to first pronounce these words, that now I can pronounce to an acceptable standard. The food was typical Russian food and ok as far as in flight food goes. The trip to Moscow from London was a nice journey, not too long and not too short so I collect my thoughts for the next morning and try to relax. At last, I arrived for the first time in Russia and then had to queue at passport control, that took ages. I get to to the passport control and the officious looking woman at the desk scrutinises my passport and looks me up and down. Thank you (in Russian of course) I say to her, and move to luggage retrieval. I am impressed to a point, the luggage has been dispatched from the plane with aplomb and so efficiently that the carousel had travelled to the moon and back. There was a heap of suitcases and bags and there was a scene of confusion by me and fellow passengers. I was calm and collected but concerned that my taxi transfer had had enough and gone home. Eventually, after excavating the pile of luggage I found my suitcase and exited through customs. Around the corner a huge sense of relief came over me, there was a Russian man, holding a board up with my name on it. We introduce ourselves and he tells me to wait by the entrance while he gets the taxi nearer. In the mean time various men approach me "taxi?", "taxi?" I replied with a resounding "nyet" at each attempt . So this is my first taste of Moscow traffic, luckily, I had prepaid my taxi and my experienced driver told me that it would be easier to go the back roads to the train station. We chatted a little using my useless Russian and my driver's English was not much better, however, he knew that I wished to get some flowers and of course my train ticket. So we travel around the outskirts of Moscow and he points to the big new houses being built "many monies, many monies, New Russia" he said. I fully understood. At last we stopped and I met the chap who I had been dealing with over the internet. I exchange dollars for my train ticket, shake hands and nearby was a flower shop. My helpful taxi driver negotiated the sale for me of eleven red roses.(knowing that an even number was for funerals) Now we had to get to the train station. Clutching my flowers, everything was going to plan and next came the train station.
The train station is very grand, and when I arrive me and the driver shake hands and I he departs. I look around and have not got a clue where my train is, but it was a long time to wait as I had at least two hours to kill. It must have been a bit obvious, me standing there with a suitcase and flowers, what my agenda was. After grabbing a coffee, I get my dictionary out and try to make sense of the words on the signs and relax a little. I knew my train number, so I just had to wait for the number to appear . A while later a drunken Russian man approached me and tried to talk to me I said, in Russian "I'm english" and he staggers off yet for him to appear twenty minutes later. He barks at me "ELSY! ELSY! " I am suitably confused but realised what he was trying to say, I smile and retort "OH! ... "CHELSEA! CHELSEA", regarding Abromovich's football club, pronouncing the name in English and we laugh and shake hands enthusiastically, off he wanders chatting in his drunken demeanor. My patience comes to an end, my train number appears on the board and so I venture onto the platform. The train had not actually arrived yet, but me and my fellow passengers awaited only for a short while. The long long train (in britain we do not see such long trains) arrived and I find my car. Next to the car a smart uniformed lady awaits to check my ticket and allows me on board. I find my first class compartment, and settle myself in. There is another woman on the train, not so well dressed, who offered to take my flowers, to put them in water, of course, I accepted and thanked her. So I thought I could count, but alas, not when I am in Russia. A rather statuesque Russian man and his wife, look into my compartment and he checks his ticket and then looks at me. I am in the wrong one!! He knew more English than I did Russian and helped me to the correct compartment. I felt a bit of a idiot but at least I knew that I was in the right place now. I have settled in now and find my surroundings, for the next twelve hours, more than adequate. Just what I had pictured in my mind after my research. The train departs on time and travels at a leisurely pace and the attendant woman comes to see me soon after, but we cannot understand each other, she speaks no English and my Russian "thank you, hello and goodbye" are soon to be found useless. A frown appeared on her forehead and she leaves bewildered. A bit later, the other lady appears and speaks some english "food?" I had not had much so I said yes and ten minutes later a small takeaway box arrives with some salad and meat in and I duly tuck in. I was very grateful, but afterwards I was offered Vodka, OH HECK NO! I do not drink." Sok will do" and a nice bottle of peach juice is duly delivered. The train journey was ok, all be it slow, and I tried to sleep, struggling due to the thought of tomorrows meeting.... and the reaction I got, the next morning after five months of e-mailling, was the least I was expecting and also it was to set a precedent for the future.............
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ronin1
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Posted: Saturday December 23rd, 2006 05:40 am |
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honestman,
The depth and details are amazing... down to the frown on the serving girl in the train. The forums tend to give general info, but here everyone is free to give the details of how it feels to be there in Russia. Your doing a great account... and it's just going over 2 weeks! I'm still wondering if this is the 'one' your meeting. Don't let the cat out of the bag .
Ronin
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honestman
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Posted: Tuesday December 26th, 2006 02:17 pm |
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So..as the train approached my lady's city I prepared myself appropriately, knowing that my Russian women would scrutinise me. The Russian businessman, whose overnight accommodation I decided I liked, was in the corridor and we conversed a little, in English. It turns out that he works in Moscow during the week and is in charge of about 400 men, men who maintain some of the electric power distribution system, no wonder he and his wife were in a first class compartment. I collected my things and my important, odd number of, red roses. I paid a few dollars each to my lady attendants and the lower ranked of the two looked a little startled, perhaps she had never seen dollars before. The train brakes and ease itself gradually along the platform. I stepped off the train and was greeted with the most amazing pair of brown eyes and a smile. I said "Hi" she responded and kissed me on the cheek.
However, something was wrong as she looked at me, she was looking straight past and her eye contact was just wrong. I tried to make eye contact with this woman who I had been e-mailling for the past five months , but in this first thirty seconds of our meet, my instinct, just told me that something was peculiar and wrong . It just did not make sense. Sadly, my lady's eyes were not looking were I expected. Also, there to meet me was her teenage daughter, and again another mesmeric pair of brown eyes. The two, mother and daughter, could almost be sisters, even though there was 26 years between the two of them. I presented my red roses and my lady cradled the roses and the two girls spoke to each other in Russian, briefly. A taxi awaited us to take us to the apartment and I tried to hold my lady's hand but she was strangely reticent to do so. We all clambered aboard the back off a Lada and made our way through the city and again I tried to make some eye contact, but to no avail. I by now was disappointed with what situation I found myself in. I had no back up plan and this woman had told me in her e-mails, that I was her "adored English gentleman" well, she had a strange way of showing it then. There was confusion as to where my apartment actually was, and my lady gave directions to the driver, and after several times until we eventually found the correct block. We all clambered out and I handed over some Roubles to my lady, who duly paid the taxi driver. We entered the hallway and the first thing that struck me was the steel external doors. Solid, and some were newer than others, odd I thought, why would a solid steel door ever need replacing? Rust? Behind this door was another, door, but this time a solid wooden door with a padded inside, once in, heck I thought! An asylum!! Perhaps I had found the right place after all...............
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honestman
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Posted: Tuesday December 26th, 2006 02:18 pm |
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Once inside the apartment, everything was how I had imagined. A one room apartment with a neat oriel balcony. There was an aged lady, who I assumed was a cleaner, and my lady conversed in Russian to her. She turned out to be the owner and I got the impression that this old lady would move into a friends apartment for the next two weeks and my money would supplement her wages. She was a friend of my lady's mother and worked in the city museum and left the flat. My lady offered tea and duly put the kettle on the rather basic gas stove. There was a wall hung gas water heater, and these are efficient little heaters. I asked about the cost of the apartment to my lady, but she said "don't worry, later, later, it not cost much" What ever the cost, it was going to be cheaper than the agency flat earlier offered to me. I had more than enough put aside for this. I had my first taste of tea, and for the first time without milk, it was ok but nothing special. My lady offered me some food and I said I was not hungry, but she insisted \i ate something. The two girls went to the local supermarket to get some provisions, with some of my Roubles. As they left the flat my lady told me "DO NOT OPEN DOOR TO ANYBODY, EVEN IF THEY SAY THEY PUTIN! NO!" I wryly smiled and nodded. This gave me a bit more time to look around my new home for the next two weeks. I have to say, it was like going back fifty years. The furniture, the gas stove, the bathroom, the heater, the pipework, it just seemed so antiquated, but above all, clean. The standard of workmanship was appalling, the tiling, the pipework, the ill fitting doors. about twenty minutes later my lady and her daughter arrived back with some food, of sorts. Some awful smelling meat, yogurt, cheese and eggs. Oh and some bread that was like a lump of dried sponge, reinforced with cement. The girls were to leave me to rest and my lady said she would come back and see me later. On their exit the daughter deftly unplugged the video recorder to take back to their flat, at least I had a television to watch, but only two channels were in English. So they left and I tried to get some sleep, but was left feeling a bit deflated to say the least.
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ronin1
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Posted: Tuesday December 26th, 2006 06:17 pm |
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honestman,
You wrote:
...some bread was like a lump of dried sponge, reinforced with cement.
Fitting imagery.
Ronin
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honestman
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Posted: Tuesday December 26th, 2006 06:28 pm |
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I try get some sleep and nod on and off for a while. I contemplated what had happened on my first meeting with a Russian woman and tried to relax, perhaps this stand-offish attitude she exhibited was something to do with our cultural differences. Perhaps she was cautious and needed more time. Later there was a knock at the door and I checked the spy hole and let my lady enter the flat, remembering to greet her once over the threshold. A warm smile and "hello dear WM, who are you?" and the obligatory kiss on my cheek. I say I am well and take her coat for her, carefully placing it on the coat hanger, and placing it on the rail next to the door. She says "are you tight?" "are you angry?" and I look a bit confused at this point and then she says "I cook"" oh.....am I hungry! I smile to myself and say "ok fine" Once in the tiny kitchen she produces something from very little, and very deftly too, and I eat a little, and prefer a coffee now. My lady then says "we go for a walk" now. Great! The weather is warm outside and we leave the flat. It was a lovely September afternoon. Once outside, I offer my arm to her and we link arms, at this point I feel a little bit happier. This woman is immaculately made up and I notice that the dress she is wearing is the one she posed for her Internet photos, some two years earlier. We try to talk a little and walk through the older part of the city, seeing the old houses that sooner or later will have to be pulled down to make way for the many newer, houses and flats. I am in the construction industry, so where ever I go in the world there is always some building work going on somewhere.! The scenes are fantastic and my lady walks me down to the artificial bay, next to the giant river. Our Thames in England is a mere stream in comparison. Her apartment is in the city center and I am going there for a meal and also to meet her long known friend, who had married a french man ten years previously. Her friend had come back to her former city for three weeks and was to leave the next day.
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honestman
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Posted: Wednesday December 27th, 2006 01:48 pm |
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The walk was wonderful and after, we entered the apartment block where my lady resided. Once in, I was handed over the mandatory slippers. I had brought along a gift for each member of the family, and once the greetings were over I handed out the gifts. A necklace for my lady, a book for her daughter and an laser cut angel in a block, for her mother. Oh, and I cannot forget the tiny dog, a small artificial bone. The dog was hyper active to say the least and caused me much amusement during my stay. This dog was a bitch, yet took an unusual dog liking to the lower part of my leg. As soon as the dog was trying to copulate with my leg, there were some Russian expletives and a raised slipper to the dog, from both my lady, and her mother. The dog soon retreated to behind the sofa, but five minutes later, after there was only me in the room, the dog shot out and started on my leg again. This time my lady's mother came in and raised a slipper to the dog and went to swipe it, missed the dog and striked me on the leg!. She (my lady's mother) seemed oblivious to the fact that she missed the dog and caught me instead. I tried not to laugh but the scene was so funny, I could not suppress my laughter, and will be one of my cherished memories of my trip there. The women were obviously embarrassed about the dog's actions, but it really did not matter. I was ushered into the second of the two rooms and I had to watch a video of her daughter's summer camp performance. Now I know why the video was hijacked!. Later, her friend arrived, and because she spoke English very well, we were introduced and we conversed a bit. Her friend seemed to be going on about that if her friend (my lady) were to move or marry, inferring me,( I assumed) that she would need some job or occupation. I thought this a bit odd sort of statement. I also thought that she was very nervous and tearful and I put this down to her having to go back to France the next day. We all sat up and ate a very nice meal, but not in the kitchen, and I reluctantly drank a small amount of red wine with the excellently prepared dishes. After this meal it was time for a walk and for me to return to my flat. As we left, my lady's friend asked if I would mind if she smoked a cigarette on the way. I said no, and she lit her cigarette, and I was pleased that my lady did not smoke, because I do not like the habit. After all.......... in my lady's profile it was stated that she was a non-smoker . We stopped off and her friend went to her mother's apartment. My lady insisted that she walk me back to my flat, but when we got there, she was like a frightened rabbit. We got to outside my flat, and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, I thanked her for the day and she quickly departed, leaving me outside the flat and the solid steel door. There was a problem though. The key got stuck in the lock and I am thinking all sorts. Maybe I would have to go back to my lady's flat. But she was going to see her friend, so I persevered and I finally got in. Phew!! I collected my thoughts for the events that had occurred that day.
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honestman
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Posted: Wednesday December 27th, 2006 07:56 pm |
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I awoke the next morning from some broken sleep and awaited for my lady to call on the telephone. She did not telephone until about 11.30 and said she would be around at 1.30.... She arrived at 2. I was not surprised by her lateness, because I had read somewhere about the meaning of time to RW. She came in and said "are you tight?"...... At last I realised what she was trying to say now!, "are you tired?" I explained that I had plenty of sleep and she said "are you angry?......" Yes I am hungry, so she produced a tasty snack. Afterwards we went for another walk down by the river and we had a good time together. I asked about her friend and my lady said that she had gone back to France. Later, a meal at her place, and her mother this time decides that she is going to show me a book on the costumes and dresses of the region and beautiful pictures they were too, but after about an hour I am starting to wane now, especially as she is babbling in Russian the whole time. The importunate little dog was ever so interested in my very attractive leg, with the usual scolding coming from the women. We leave to go back to my flat and this time we take the trolleybus. Our transport service in London is put to shame by such efficiency. My lady virtually ignores me on the trolleybus all the way, assuming no eye or body contact what so ever. Odd I thought, but again, maybe a cultural difference. This time she enters my flat and sees me in, I get the usual kiss on the cheek, before she departs. After about half an hour later, I get a phone call saying that she arrived back at her flat and wishes me good night and says "I kiss you" down the phone. I feel a little more contented but something still is not right and I am getting uneasy now. Maybe I was expecting too much too soon.....afterall I had plenty more days to see if there was going to be any "chemistry" there and to relax and have a good time. The next day I felt that I might as well have gone home..................
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ronin1
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Posted: Thursday December 28th, 2006 03:25 am |
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honestman,
Wow! It seems your making headway then you hit an under-tow current. Two steps forward and one step back. I know the feeling. Your first encounter with her at the train station prompted me to write on the topic of 'RW and the Blank Stare'. Then you posted about your experience on the trolleybus. The blank stare is only reserved for strangers. You're are right that something is amiss.
Ronin
Last edited on Saturday December 30th, 2006 01:58 am by ronin1
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honestman
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Posted: Thursday December 28th, 2006 09:21 am |
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There was a pattern emerging already, a phone call late in the morning "I will be around your place later" giving me a time and then turning up later than she said. I took her to task about this and she says that she had work at home to do. In all the times so far I really was having a good time in her company and no complaints what so ever. She also had to look after her daughter who, by now, is back at school, so I had to accept any time she gave me, even though she is on her "vacation". I also made allowances for the fact that it was her holiday and that she probably would need some time with her friends. I know from forums that things could be made very difficult for a RW if it is known that she has a western man friend so, to a certain extent, I had no choice. However I had still only met her friend from abroad. This day, when she turned up, she was a little anxious and said that her daughters blood test results from the doctors was not good. So for the next two hours we walked from hospital to doctors several times and she ignored me completely. It was if I was not there. I even deliberately walked two steps behind her. Later, after she consulted her daughter's doctor, relief at last, and it showed on my lady's face. What had happened was that a blood test reading showed that her daughter maybe a diabetic, and the reason for the high reading was due to her daughter eating something sweet before she took the blood test. I was astonished, because my lady was a doctor herself, or so she told me. Not only that, I knew from my own family experience the reason for the high reading but she never talked to me before hand. Later I was annoyed and she said "what is matter" I told her bluntly about the situation and one of our supposed agreements was for honesty and truthfulness, so if there was anything on my mind we would discuss it, especially if our relationship was to go forward. I told her that I understood and I was happier about the situation. The next day was another bizarre situation, but one that had to be done, my registration of my stay.................
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honestman
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Posted: Thursday December 28th, 2006 09:26 am |
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Today we had to go to register my stay. Fine, accept that my lady arrives in the afternoon, as was expected. I did not realise all the effort we had to go to and the back and forth to various offices. It was very similar to the incident with her daughter's blood test. Back and forth, back and forth. To be honest, I was very grateful for my lady's efforts and patience in this matter, and I did let her know how appreciative I was. We got stuck in one of the offices due to a rainstorm outside that lasted for over half an hour. So finally, with papers and passport in hand we trekked off to the police station. We enter and have to show our passports again. By the time we get up to the right place, up one floor, the office we needed, was closed. Which meant we had to come back tomorrow. By now most of the afternoon had been taken up with all this. The next day we got to the police station (the afternoon again, but slightly earlier). This time was a source of bewilderment and amusement for me. First I had to have my photograph taken, with and without my spectacles and the lady operating the camera was giving me orders to move left or right, up down. FLASH! FLASH! Eventually this part was done. Next the fingerprinting. I have never had my finger prints done before, and now I was to have the full blown treatment! All my fingers, thumbs AND palms! I looked at the lady who was happy pasting my paws with black ink and she pressed my prints onto the official paper. I held my hands up after and looked at the mess. She smiled at me and gave me something to wipe off the ink. After, I went to the washroom to clean the excess off. At last, we had finished.
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honestman
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Posted: Thursday December 28th, 2006 09:30 am |
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A pattern had finally emerged for my stay here. I would wait around in the flat or my lady to call and then come around one or even two hours after she said she would. I decided to just make the most of my time here so I decided to go out this day on my own and to explore parts of the city that I had not seen before. I thought it very sad that I had come all this way and only to have limited time with my lady. I had read in forums that it was not usual for a Russian to allow your guest to get bored. Oh well. I certainly did at times.
So I went for a walk, and took many photos, and got myself some pepsi in the local shop, remembering and using my basic Russian. I got in about three and the phone rang before I could get to it. Fifteen minutes later another phonecall from my lady...."where were you, I worry, I worry" I said to her that I got bored and went for a walk. I thought she jokingly said "maybe another woman?..." ..."No" I said. Her reaction overall was a bit strange to say the least. She did come around as usual and the same routine, but this time a walk around a gallery to see some art and alot there was too. I was impressed. Later however, after my meal at her flat I insisted I go back to my flat alone, and this one time she did. I did not think we were going anywhere with this relationship so my intention was just to be friends. Anyhow, in her profile she wrote that she wanted to be best friends with her future soulmate. The question I had to ask myself was this-is it worth it? The time and effort I had put in already? The next week was just as frustrating, and certain events unfolded which were not so good.............
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honestman
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Posted: Friday December 29th, 2006 10:31 am |
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By now frustration and boredom had set in and I started taking notes of my stay here. I still needed to get my train ticket home so I asked my lady to help me with this. We go to the train station. Another time consuming process, but at least I now had my train ticket home. I was a little relieved and we walked quite a long way, surprising really, when there were so many trolleybuses. I said I would like a beer and so on the walk back towards her apartment, we stopped off and bought a couple of beers. There are so many little parks in her city that we stopped off in one, found a bench, drank some beer, chatted and relaxed. Afterwards my lady casually walks into a shop to look at clothes and there were some nice clothes. I had spent very little and so I offered to buy her something. She rifles through the conservative looking grey trousers and could not find what she wanted. That day ended much like the rest, and no progress with romantic relations. The next day was the usual pattern of events and after some food at her place we go for a walk to the shops. Ok no problem. We are now in the mobile phone shop and looking at the very latest models. I was stunned at the range and quantity of not only phones, but quantity of phone shops. She says that she lost her phone............I offer to buy her one..............I chose one that is a reasonable price and is a good make.................I pay...............she thanks me and kisses me on the cheek, and bizarrely shakes my hand!! Like a business transaction! Again a cultural thing maybe? I am a little annoyed at this handshake gesture and she says later that it is what friends do in her country. Well at least knew where I stood then. I am cool and I wanted to buy this gift for her. This got me thinking. We had discussed her meagre wages some days earlier and so this phone would have been the equivalent of a months of her wages, an astonishing and vast amount in comparison. If a foreigner from another country were to come over to see me in my country and bought me something worth many hundreds of pounds, what would my reaction be?, and more importantly thoughts, be? My lady scrutinises the phone for defects and caresses it like a treasured possession. It is a site that I even managed to photograph. The next day we went for a walk and collect a beer and go to the Volga, we joke around and I picked her up and pretended to through her in the river. Perhaps my instinct was telling me something. However, it was all quite amusing and carried out in good taste. The next day was to be the full blown Russian woman shopping experience.!! We take the trolleybus out of town and find a shopping mall. A vast array of small outlets and so so many clothes!! There were all sorts of shops, many behind glass screens. It was possible to buy anything, and I mean anything. Endless energy seemed to be expended and after two hours we come away with a blouse and a pretty pair of pink boots, with a fluffy bits on the top. Very nice, if you like that sort of thing. They weren't even for her!! They were for her daughter!! Well I knew from my ex-wife that women like to shop but this was something else!! I reckon we must have looked at every single white blouse that was on sale. Thank goodness that there were not any more shops there selling pretty white blouses!! When we got back to her flat the daughter is summoned from her all consuming studies, and the boots are tried out for size. However I could tell that her daughter was not too enamoured with her mother's (and my) choice. They were accepted with good grace however. Tomorrow was a similar experience although this time my lady had obviously new what she wanted, before we even started to shop. She ups the ante now, a nice leather coat. Hmmm this is is not looking good I think to myself and know what what is occurring. This coats were half price and she has to try on the whole contents of the shop first. She lets me choose one and I choose the more conservative one, although, to be honest, she looked great in the other one. To be fair, the price was a bargain, so I bought the coat, even as a friend. Of course I received the, kiss on the cheek, the thank you, oh and that ever so meaningful handshake..... Now all these items were practical items, apart from the mobile phone, so, I had the money, so what? At any time I had that choice to say no to buying these things. One thing I did not want to be judged to have done and that was to "buy" her, but sadly that is what was happening. The last few days were going from bad to worse, and my confusion and was getting worse and I am still have an inner battle with my instincts. At this point I still did not know what my accommodation was going to cost me.....I had to wait to the very last day, and if it was not for this fact I would have left earlier....
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honestman
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Posted: Saturday December 30th, 2006 11:43 am |
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By now it is obvious what was going on but I blindly carried on with torment in my head and blind belief in what I was doing. I asked myself ....Is this a courtship in Russia?... Is this how it is?. I had to just go with the flow and ride out my time. I only had a few days to go and on one of these days my lady arrived for her usual afternoon visit. This time she looked and WAS tired. No amount of make up was going to hide this. Well, she certainly had not spent a long evening with me the night before. She said she did not want to cook so I said" well lets go for a meal out somewhere". She said that she would like Sushi, so fine, that suited me. I had worked once for a Japanese client who introduced me to Sushi and what constitutes good Sushi so we went along for the first time to this particular restaurant. A young Russian woman appeared, dressed in Japanese costume, nice touch I thought, and the array of different Sushi on the menu was amazing. We ordered from this an extensive menu and had to wait a while. This was not a cheap restaurant by her standards, but by mine it certainly was, and we had a beer each, and while we waited I thought that the restaurant was nicely decorated. The plethora of food arrived and we tucked in and as we tucked in my lady was in raptures over this food "GOOD KITCHEN, GOOD KITCHEN" she proclaimed and was so impressed she wanted to bring her daughter to try, so I said that we would come back to the restaurant with her before I left for England. Also, before my return to England, I wanted to see her agency where she used to send and receive my e-mails. On the second but last day there we went to the agency and it was a chance for me to talk a little to the translator. I said to my lady that we should take some cake and champagne and we duly pick up said items from a supermarket. We get there by minibus, my first minibus ride in her city, and these things are like mini roller coaster trains, and the roads do not aid a comfortable ride. We climb off and I stagger to collect my spinning head and amazingly the cake is still in one piece. My lady seemed a little nervous of our visit here for some reason and I sensed a bit of tension in her, perhaps she thought that I was going to tell her what I thought. We arrive there and it is all smiles and we are ushered into a room with two Russian women and the RM translator. His reaction was one of some reticence, but we shake hands chatted a little and at that point I could not hide my frustration and said to him that I expect things would be different with a 30 year old rather than a 40 year old RW. My lady wanted me to know a couple of things and so the translator said "she wants you to know that she won't change" An odd statement I thought and told him to tell her that "I did not expect her to change". Also she said that I was to correct her on her poor English. In all this time we were not looking at each other. He said there are many women on their books of all ages. Indeed earlier in the day, a 50 year old Russian woman had finally found a man abroad after 8 years on their books. My Russian lady was babbling nineteen to the dozen to one of the other RW. As we are talking I try to hold my lady's hand but she shuns away from this. After a reasonable chat we leave and then we are to go back to the Sushi restaurant, with her daughter. So we go back to her flat and the daughter gets ready.. Now another bizarre incident. In her bathroom there is a cigarette lighter. Odd I thought. In the bin beside the WC there is an empty cigarette packet. I have never seen, in all my two week stay here, my lady smoke. We all go to have Sushi a bit later and my lady is by now initiating holding my arm and/ or hand on the way. My lady and her daughter talk a little in Russian and we get to the restaurant. So we order, but when the food arrives the daughter is perplexed and frowns at the food. She tries some but obviously does not like it and ends up having a chicken salad! The mood after the meal is jovial and relaxed and my lady takes me home. The next day was to be my penultimate day so I was expecting to spend a great deal of time with her...............
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honestman
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Posted: Saturday December 30th, 2006 08:04 pm |
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Now my penultimate day had arrived and I was expecting some more time with my lady, after all, this was my last full day here. By about twelve o'clock I am getting a bit fidgety now and there has been no telephone call. I was bitterly disappointed and decided to go out for a walk. The weather was not warm that day but the sun was shining so I decided to go out and thought it sad that even as a "her friend" she was nowhere to be seen. I went out to think, and to collect my thoughts. I left about one o'clock and decided that I would walk my last time to see this city. I kept trying to make sense of my experience so far and things were not looking good. I symbolically picked a small wild flower from the grass and threw it in the artificial bay. Sadly I had to say to myself that I was not coming back to to see my lady again. So I walked around some more and picked up a beer from a local stall. My Russian pronunciation was getting poorer and the girl behind the counter spoke back in English to me and I carried on walking but the weather had turned so cold that I decided to retreat back to the flat. On the way there I decided to get some more beers and took them back to my flat. I got back about three and telephoned my lady at her home and her daughter answered "mama in shop" My lady had told me that she was getting gifts for me and my family so I left it at that. But an hour later I had drank some more and telephoned her on her mobile phone. It rang......and she answered in a manner that I had not heard before, in monotone syllables "I in shop, I will call later" her voice was distinctly unfriendly. Now all I am doing is drinking and too much by now. A bottle of wine goes quickly and still no reply from my lady. By now I still do not know how much the flat was going to cost, and tried to think out my course of actions, so I did some sums and thought of dropping the keys and enough money in her mail box the following morning and to make my way to the train station alone. I telephoned her at her flat and this time her daughter answered and said that her mother was in the bathroom. My lady eventually telephoned and she said she would be around soon, well three hours later, and at about nine o'clock in the evening, on my penultimate day she arrived all smiles. She sensed the alcohol on my breath and so she rightly decided to cook something for me. We go to the supermarket and get a frozen chicken and other bits and pieces, oh and a bottle of champagne and really by then I just did not care. We get back and she deftly and swiftly prepares this chicken, cutting it up and defrosting it under the running tap. It goes in the oven and we really did have a good time chatting and laughing but by then I just could not be bothered to find out how she spent her time that day. Once cooked, the amazing talent she showed in stripping her chicken piece of all its edible bits was a site to see, and as I tried to throw away the bones she said "no no no ...for my dog" nothing was going to waste. The food was good and the champagne flowed, and it has just gone past midnight now. It takes an awful lot to get me drunk and things were really going well and I then deliberately and slowly asked her so she understood........ "When.......do........I.......get........my...........first...........kiss?" She smiled and knew what I was saying. It was obviously time for her to go but I was still waiting for this first proper kiss. She telephoned for a taxi and it soon arrived and she climbed onto the stool in the kitchen and shouted out something to the taxi driver. I helped her with her coat and she tried to to kiss me in the most bizarre way possible. She sort of kissed me around the lips and then briefly on a part of my lips and chin, it was just plain weird! I saw her out of the flat and was left totally bemused by her attempt at a kiss. I tried to sleep and the next day was full of more strange incidents on my final day..............
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