Russian Woman’s Stigma of Meeting through an Agency…
As far as marriages to Russian Women go, I treat them all the same. Most RW go through agencies of one kind or another. I don’t look down on them or think any less of them trying to find their dream.
Occasionally, I will encounter a RW that will give the story of meeting their AM husband while on an educational visit to the States. Though this is possible, it is rare. There are cases where I suspect that the RW is fabricating this plausible scenario so as to extricate herself from the rest of the RW. My guess is that either the husband or wife wants to avoid being pegged as having a MOB marriage. My guess is that in their circles it is not accepted well whether it being family, social and/or business.
This deception, though seemingly harmless, hangs like a cloud over the couple, and in the end the truth will become known. To live such a lie is maybe OK for them. Hey, it is their life. However, to perpetrate such untruths in order to avoid the nature of their union or to gain favor over others is questionable.
Perhaps the story doesn't play well when the wifes gather to talk about how they first met their husbands. It's not what is said but how it is said. Some of the most romantic stories are about when a couple met in a foreign land that followed by a whirlwind romance and marriage. Strangely enough this covers many if not most WM/RW marriages. If we are talking about a gathering of RWives, then its a competition to see which story is the most compulsive and spur of the moment (read the topic of RW and Love at First Sight). There is no need to mention an agencies hand in the story if it is not a comfortable association. However to insert a white lie at the foundation of a relationship can set one on a slippery slope that can take a great deal of effort to maintain. And once one lie is set the the cast is set as well for future slights of truth to cover the initial one.
I understand that RW value their privacy. Yes, over time the mention of the agency involvement will wither. It is a natural process. What remains important is that two people met and fell in love. It would not be in the overall best interest to taint this with falsehoods. To parlay short-term gains and risking long term loss of face to one’s circle seems short-sighted. Those that contemplate doning this be forewarned. Why create skeletons and a closet for them where none existed before?
Ronin
Last edited on Thursday May 17th, 2007 05:41 am by ronin1
|
