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ronin1
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| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| Visits: | 7 | | Currently: | married |
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Posted: Monday May 8th, 2006 06:54 am |
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Russian Woman’s Stigma of Meeting through an Agency…
As far as marriages to Russian Women go, I treat them all the same. Most RW go through agencies of one kind or another. I don’t look down on them or think any less of them trying to find their dream.
Occasionally, I will encounter a RW that will give the story of meeting their AM husband while on an educational visit to the States. Though this is possible, it is rare. There are cases where I suspect that the RW is fabricating this plausible scenario so as to extricate herself from the rest of the RW. My guess is that either the husband or wife wants to avoid being pegged as having a MOB marriage. My guess is that in their circles it is not accepted well whether it being family, social and/or business.
This deception, though seemingly harmless, hangs like a cloud over the couple, and in the end the truth will become known. To live such a lie is maybe OK for them. Hey, it is their life. However, to perpetrate such untruths in order to avoid the nature of their union or to gain favor over others is questionable.
Perhaps the story doesn't play well when the wifes gather to talk about how they first met their husbands. It's not what is said but how it is said. Some of the most romantic stories are about when a couple met in a foreign land that followed by a whirlwind romance and marriage. Strangely enough this covers many if not most WM/RW marriages. If we are talking about a gathering of RWives, then its a competition to see which story is the most compulsive and spur of the moment (read the topic of RW and Love at First Sight). There is no need to mention an agencies hand in the story if it is not a comfortable association. However to insert a white lie at the foundation of a relationship can set one on a slippery slope that can take a great deal of effort to maintain. And once one lie is set the the cast is set as well for future slights of truth to cover the initial one.
I understand that RW value their privacy. Yes, over time the mention of the agency involvement will wither. It is a natural process. What remains important is that two people met and fell in love. It would not be in the overall best interest to taint this with falsehoods. To parlay short-term gains and risking long term loss of face to one’s circle seems short-sighted. Those that contemplate doning this be forewarned. Why create skeletons and a closet for them where none existed before?
Ronin
Last edited on Thursday May 17th, 2007 05:41 am by ronin1
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RQRose
Member
| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
| Visits: | | | Currently: | learning about RW |
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Posted: Tuesday October 28th, 2008 08:02 am |
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Secrets don't Make-friends, but they do Make-friends-closer.
-Old Saying
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dwfunk
Member
| Joined: | Tuesday March 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 109 |
| Visits: | 3 | | Currently: | married |
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 01:04 am |
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Mine told her work that she met me at the airport. That I was here on a business trip.
Well, we did meet at the airport and my business for coming to Russia was to meet her, but then, she left out that part . . . . 
-david
. . . no one asked her why she was at the airport . . . 
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RQRose
Member
| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 06:53 am |
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From their perspective it seems odd and (maybe) embarrassing, but I think it's a lot like an adoption.
You don't choose the children that are born to you, but the ones you adopt you Select out of a group of hundreds. You pick them specifically.
It's like that with RW (although I've heard it argued that they pick YOU), you choose them out of the hundreds, maybe thousands of women you come across.
I know I will be able to convince my RW that I chose her above all others...I like to think it's because I'm 50% Hopeless Romantic and 50% Psychologist, but I feel that any man who Truly Loves his RW will be able to convince her that She is Special that he wanted her and only her. She half way WANTS to believe it anyways!
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