Russian Women and Quantum Mechanics…
Had some time to ramble a few thoughts on this endeavor as a whole using a bit of 20/20 hindsight. Perhaps it might be useful. At first, it may sound counter to what I have said in the past... but it's not. I'm just looking at it as the glass is half empty to get a different POV.
RW that are transplanted into another country really never fully assimilate. Sure, many are like sponges with better that average intelligences and education. Still, you can take the RW out of Russian, but you can’t take the Russian out of the RW. It’s all about the learning curve and their desire to acclimate. It’s a circular process.
When RW arrive in your homeland most are essentially starting as 3 year olds as far as learning the language, culture and how to function. This changes their world from large to very small. This compression or paring off of perceived functional space can be very traumatic to RW. Going from a very successful individual to one that is highly dependent on the husband can very depressing to RW.
If they can stick with the ESL classes, drivers training and a lot of experiences on how to function within a new society, they will quickly overcome their isolation and the fears that go with it. As their functioning world expands they begin to realize how the Western countries have a marked advantage over their homeland. This is because they can now understand by experiencing it. This realization often fuels their desire to become fully functional ASAP.
Despite these apparent incentives to accelerate the acclamation process, the fact still remains that they are starting out 20 years behind. Their efforts to catch up while leading a young adult life is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Most will be heavily dependent upon their husbands for a long time.
This brings me to an interesting point. RW lead a young adult life. For RW that means children. In general, the more supportive and in-tune the husband the more quickly the RW will want to have a child. Also, if such a husband is financially capable then the RW will want to have more children. This in a way slows down the acclamation process since the world becomes smaller again, about the size of a baby kind of small.
On the other hand, those RW that have issues with their husbands tend to continue their acclamation process. As a matter of fact they would like to accelerate it. Often such RW will push through schools and jump into a job and career ASAP. They have in the back of their minds a soft landing (golden parachute if you will) just in case the relationship goes from bad to worse… then it’s off to plan ‘B’.
This is the irony of the situation. For those WM that have chosen less than well or who have less than adequate RW handling skills, it would appear that they are the recipients of RW that adjust quickly to their new environment. Their marriage is perhaps more at risk, however many RW are used to living in relationships that are on the edge for who knows how long.
The other WM that have chosen wisely and have the skills to reign in and manage the wilds of the RW ways seem to get a RW that is depend on him longer not to mention the added dependents on the tax forms. Along with this comes the added stress to support this growing family. As such this family incurs a potential financial risk since the entire family depends on the one breadwinner.
So where am I going with this? These are the consequences that can occur. Perhaps things that one doesn’t think of. It’s best to see it up front. These are perhaps two different directions that can occur. To some extend one can prepare for it. I think that every WM strives for the latter situation, yet sometimes due to unforeseen reasons and/or insufficient preparation it is very possible to slip into the former situation. The unknowns in this venture are great and many WM really don’t know quite what they are confronting when marrying a RW.
In any case, it is fair to say that your world will be very different. The times that you share will be punctuated with many highs and lows. Your mettle will be tried financially, emotionally, and spiritually. In this chaos, your RW will change, adapt and grow. This process has unintended consequences as well. RW don’t transform in a vacuum. They will affect all that is around them. It would follow true to Heisenberg’s principle that despite your best intent to stay who you are you too will change, adapt and grow along with them.
Ronin
Last edited on Tuesday December 19th, 2006 02:54 am by ronin1
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