| Author | Post |
|---|
ronin1
Administrator
| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| Visits: | 7 | | Currently: | married |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Saturday January 27th, 2007 05:30 am |
|
Russian Woman and Trips Back to Russia…
When one marries a RW, sometimes it maybe hard to tell if you’re making any headway in getting her accustom to the new life you have presented to her. Between homesickness, culture shock, re-learning everything, low esteem and adjusting to a husband that she hardly knows, it can be rather overwhelming at times.
Eventually it will be time for her to return to Russia for one of a number of reasons. It could be to update her passport or take care of family business. In any case one may wonder that if things are so difficult in her newly adopted land, perhaps she will not return. Perhaps once she arrives in Russia she will be able to relax and feel like she is back in her element… were she belongs.
This is the acid test. If you have done your stuff right you will have no doubt about her not going AWOL on you. The though will not cross your mind whatsoever.
In 95% of the cases when Russian women make that first trek back to their homeland, they will discover that they have changed. A RW’s concerns are almost totally different than her sisters in Russia. They have transcended clawing for a living and are looking beyond. For many of them, to look back at how they used to live is like stepping back a decade, not a year.
Also, in her absence, Russia moves on. Russian culture and society evolves. New bands and singers appear. The language of slang changes. Friends of the past lose their tight connections. The cityscape transforms with new construction.
The RW over time begins to feel removed from the place of her birth and the people she once knew so well. Then she comes to realize that her new place by her husband’s side is her real home.
This is a transforming moment. For most RW it happens on the first trip home, if not, most definitely on the second trip. It‘s the funniest thing. They will be in Russia and feel a touch of homesickness, not for Russia but for their new home. When they return to their new soil, they will see it will new eyes. They will see that it is the place that they belong.
For WM that are married to these RW, it is not a time to dread or doubt. To the contrary it is a time to see the fruits of ones work and efforts. She will return a different lady. She will be more secure in the knowledge that she has made the right choice in marriage and the right choice in following him to parts beyond Russia. She will be coming to 'her' home.
Ronin
Last edited on Sunday January 28th, 2007 04:09 am by ronin1
|
RQRose
Member
| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
| Visits: | | | Currently: | learning about RW |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Tuesday October 28th, 2008 08:31 am |
|
Is there a time-frame you should follow for her visit home? A Year? Two Years? 6 Months?
|
dwfunk
Member
| Joined: | Tuesday March 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 109 |
| Visits: | 3 | | Currently: | married |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 01:01 am |
|
RQRose wrote: Is there a time-frame you should follow for her visit home? A Year? Two Years? 6 Months?
I believe 2 years. In some ways, there needs to be as big a contrast as possible.
-david
|
RQRose
Member
| Joined: | Monday October 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Tampa, Florida USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
| Visits: | | | Currently: | learning about RW |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 06:56 am |
|
That's what I thought, prolong it as long as possible. I also thought it would be a good idea for her parents to come over and SEE how well she would be taken care of, so that when she talked to her mother, her mother might be able to tell her how good she has it compared to how she grew up. Mother's are very wise...
I was told it is very difficult to get parents over for even the short amount of time for the wedding.
What about Hawaii or Guam though? It's pretty close! 
Also, are there cruise ships that leave Russia and tour America? We could meet up with BOTH of the families at a tourist destination and get married there!
Mexico! We could sneak across the border!
Cuba! We could charter a boat! (I'm from Florida.)
Canada! We could drive!
Last edited on Thursday October 30th, 2008 06:58 am by RQRose
|
ronin1
Administrator
| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| Visits: | 7 | | Currently: | married |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thursday October 30th, 2008 08:17 pm |
|
DWFunk's quote:
I believe 2 years. In some ways, there needs to be as big a contrast as possible.
IMO, I'd say 1 year after the honeymoon is over. The longer an AM can keep a RW in the honeymoon phase, the longer she is not dealing with the day-to-day drudgery of forging a relationship and confronting her newly adopted culture (the bumpyside of such). My guess is that this phase can last form 0 to 12 months. This puts a scheduled return flight home from 12 to 24 months from her date of arrival in her new homeland.
However, the first few months may tip the balance. If your RW is plagued by severe homesickness and frustration in coping with the English language, etc., then being able to say (and mean) that she can return to Russia after 1 year goes over well and give her the strength to care on. Saying 2 years may not give her (or you) any relief at all.
Though I understand that in many instances that the budget maybe tight after going through all the expense to get ones RW wife in the first place. Now, there is the cost of keeping her. Dropping 4+ big ones (can be more of less depending on location) for a visit to Russia can break the bank for those that are not prepared for it (average visit is perhaps ~3 months). Still, one must consider that most RW will have a scheduled return to pronounce their successful marriage and their security in it, to their family. On top of this is the un-scheduled returns. They may have to return for sickness or death of a close family member. This can happen at anytime and due to RW traditional nature (family is everything) it is best not to deny them this.
Ronin
Last edited on Thursday October 30th, 2008 08:22 pm by ronin1
|
Current time is 12:05 pm | |
|
|
|