Russian Women and the Blank Stare…
In many Western countries and customs, it is normal to greet strangers with temporary eye contact and perhaps some other gesture as a sign of their existence. It is without thought that we do this. We WM take this for granted as being universal, however it is not. When WM are confronted with a society that does nothing of the kind we often assume that the society is cold, rude or even uncivil. Who are we to judge? It is us that are the strangers in a strange land. It is far less likely that the society will bend to accommodate our view of how people should respond during our brief visits. So it is incumbent upon us to understand and bow to the prevailing norms.
What are these norms? When you are passing others on the street or along any pedestrian through-fare, the people walking opposite to you will stare through you as if you were not there. There will be no direct eye contact save for the fact that your eyes maybe occupying the direction of their gaze (being that you are walking opposite to them more or less assure this). There will be no spoken greeting like “Good morning”, “Hello”, etc. There will be no gestures like the nod of the head, facial contortions or body language of any kind.
Perhaps you can handle that. It is a transitory situation that comes and goes with each passing person. How about in buses and trains where you are forced in a situation where Russian people are in close proximity to you all the time. If you are a stranger the rules still apply. You may have 3 of more Russians facing directly at you and you will be invisible to them, however to you they will be staring at you at point blank range.
Russian Women are subject to this same behavior. If you are a stranger you will be greeted by a blank stare as though you’re not even there. This is perhaps the condition that may occur when one meets a Russian Woman for the first time. This is more a possibility for RW that have met few foreigners. Also, it will be more prevalent with RW that have little contact with their agency since agencies tend to coach the RW along client expectations.
Also, when you are in Russia in the company of your RW, don’t smile and/or greet by passers. Doing so will be very embarrassing to her to the point that she will not want your company at all. In Russian society it is only those that are mentally deficient that do such things.
I can’t explain this condition that is now a cultural norm. All I can do is postulate that it is perhaps a response to the sociological and psychological pressures of the past communist regime. Fear not the RW what you decide to marry. It is not a permanent affliction. Once you RW arrives in your homeland, she will adjust and respond to smiles and greetings just fine, however she will be a bit reserved about it.
Ronin
Last edited on Wednesday December 27th, 2006 07:10 am by ronin1
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