First Date Questions…
Back to basics. In the realm of international dating, like real estate, time is of the essences. For the sake of cost and the time it takes for these expensive visits, every step is accelerated, abbreviated and reduced to its essentials. For the most part this is fine with many RW. They too are on a tight timetable and want to waste little of their free time on unproductive pursues. Their bluntness and pragmatic nature is very well suited to this process.
The bigger concern is the WM with notions of drawn-out romance. Romance and tight schedules are not spoken in the same breath. All things being equal, a WM must take the lead on the first date and lay his cards out on the table. Establish quickly if the relationship fundamentals are right before even considering letting a RW get under one’s skin. This is normally done through questions… a lot of them.
These questions may seem not appropriate for a first date, however when in Russia we are not in Kansas any more. A WM doesn’t want to spend several days with a gorgeous RW and then finds she has no intention of leaving her homeland. Best to get the deal breakers out of the way as soon as possible. Remember that if the questions seem to be too many and too intense it will appear to be more like an interrogation. If you are using an interpreter this will be unlikely, however gage your questions according to the reactions and responses of the RW.
Questions asking is a two-sided affair. Before asking her questions you can speed things along with a short synopsis of yourself and why you have come to Russia will be helpful. Don’t assume that a RW that you have shared a couple of emails with has read your profile. Something like the below canned monolog will answer most questions that a RW will ask on a first date:
My name is Jon Doe. I’m 45 years old. I have been working as an occupation for XX years. I own/rent a modest house/apt in city, state. I have been divorced for XX years.
I have XX children and would like to have more/no more. My children live with me/with me %XX of the time/not with me. They are XX years old.
My outstanding obligations are to my children, alimony, childcare, bank, credit card company, court, parole office, etc.
In my spare time I like to swim/hike/go to the gym/dance/travel/ have parties/go to parties/fix the house/fix the car/spend time with the family I will have, etc.
I’m a sincere and honest man of stable character. Though I’m not a rich man I can provide a reasonable and secure life for a wife/small family/large family.
(Insert any reasonable very short story as long as it doesn’t make you appear weak or needy.)
I have spent too much time trying to find a soul mate in my country that has traditional/family values. I’m hoping it won’t take so long to find that special someone here.
Now, after you are done, then the RW may have a few questions about what you said. Perhaps she will key into her deal breakers at this point. Answer her questions short and brief. Don’t get yourself caught in long-winded explanations… it will only prove your guilt. Take control and start your questions to find if she is compatible with you. Remember it is the man that offers to marry. The man has to decide on whom to propose to. At this point the man’s questions are most important. Try to squeeze in as many of these questions into your conversation and those others questions that are special deal breakers to you:
1) How long have you been searching for a foreign husband? Why?
2) How many dates have you had with foreign men?
3) Have you traveled outside your homeland? For what reasons?
4) Are you ready to leave your family, friends and country for your husband or Fiancé?
5) Do you expect to be working in your new country? How soon?
6) How soon and how often do you expect to visit Russia?
7) What do you expect you role will be as a wife?
8) What do your see your husband doing to fulfill his role?
9) Will you make a commitment to learn a new language?
10) Will you make a commitment to learn to drive?
11) You will be homesick. Will you made a commitment to fight the temptation to return home?
12) What do you think of age differences between husband and wife?
13) What would your friends say about your nature or character?
14) Do you smoke at all? How often and how much?
15) Do you drink at all? How often and how much?
16) Do you have any bad habits?
17) Do you have any obligations in you life that would hold you from putting 100% into a relationship with a foreign husband?
18) What are your hobbies?
19) Do you have children, (how many, how old, etc.). Do you have permission from the father for them to leave the country?
20) Have you been married before?
Ronin
Last edited on Monday January 21st, 2008 12:09 am by ronin1
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