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Sean
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| Joined: | Monday February 4th, 2008 |
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Posted: Monday March 17th, 2008 03:40 pm |
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I've gotten on a Ukraine message board, and several of the women I have sent a message to through the system have written back and said, "Please give me your email address."
Or, they give me theirs so I can email them.
Why are they doing this? Why not correspond through the website? Is it a red flag?
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ronin1
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| Joined: | Saturday January 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
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Posted: Monday March 17th, 2008 08:29 pm |
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Sean,
In any type of Russian/Ukrainian contact, there is a potential for mis- use and abuse. Under normal circumstances a normal person wouldn’t divulge any personal info onto the internet, however many wouldn’t consider this endeavor as being normal. As with any type of internet dating situation, it is up to the individual involved to determine the venue(s) of contact so long as they feel comfortable with it. There are pro and cons to this staying within the confines of the personals contact system.
Pros
- Site can filter out embedded programs in correspondence.
- Site can deter spamming.
- Site can deter boiler plate operations.
- Site can remove members that have many complaints against them.
Cons
- Site can dampen frank correspondence, (Big Brother maybe reading too).
- Site can restrict the format in sending correspondence.
- Dependent on the site for contact, (site can go out of business, change to a “pay per mail” business model at any time, lose contact info, etc.).
- If the site is a ‘pay to play’ for the man, then the service can be a cost issue and ethics issue.
- If the site is a ‘pay to play’ for the woman, then the service can be a cost and ethics issue, (don’t assume that if it is a pay service for the man that it is free for the woman).
Most WM are concerned with the Pros due to the risks, however are unaware of the nature of Russian/Ukrainian business practices (Cons).
Most WR/UW are concerned with the Cons to their knowledge of the nature of Russian/Ukrainian business practices (Cons), however maybe not aware of the risks (Pros).
The least front end risk is to continue to correspond through the service, however there is a greater back end risk of the site having you be the gonads.
The highest front end risk is to contact her direct. You may have a higher change of being contacted by a scammer, however whether through the personals or your own personal venue there is little difference if it is an independent scammer.
I know this is not a direct answer to your question. This area is a gray area. I hope that this will guide you to the best decision for your situation.
Ronin
Last edited on Tuesday April 1st, 2008 04:53 am by ronin1
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Sean
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Posted: Monday March 17th, 2008 09:03 pm |
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Thanks, Ronin.
I think I am going to choose to be suspicious on these.
I've got two emails now from about six or seven of these "send me an email" requests. Neither of them contained any personal info about my long initial letter.
I've gotten enough responses within the system that contain many comments related to my messages that I don't need to take much time with these potential imposters. I may email them back one more time requesting that they comment specifically on my previous comments.
By the way, the site is UkraineDate.com and seems to be pretty legit to me. I found it through the Ukraine "chamber of commerce" type of website. I've already had a number of very legitimate interactions through this site, both through IM and regular messages through the system.
This site has the sense of legitimacy, and it may well be that these gals have template messages that get marked as spam. I do know this, the site does not allow you to give emails through their system (they emailed me to stop doing so when I did so for a gal who asked for mine).
They charge 29.99 per month.
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myrddin
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| Joined: | Sunday January 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | Chicagoland, Illinois USA |
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Posted: Tuesday April 1st, 2008 03:56 am |
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ronin1 wrote:
Sean,
- Dependent on the site for contact, (site can go out of business, change to a “pay per mail” business model at any time, lose contact info, etc.).
- If the site is a ‘pay to play’ for the man, then the service can be a cost issue and ethics issue.
- If the site is a ‘pay to play’ for the woman, then the service can be a cost and ethics issue, (don’t assume that if it is a free service for the man that it is also free for the woman).
Ronin
Are you saying there are sites that charge women but not men? Every site I've ever seen is either free for both, both pay, or men pay. It seems to me only charging women would be a bad business model, but then I've never lived in a place where single, available women outnumber single, available men 
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ronin1
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| Location: | S.F. Bay Area, California USA |
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Posted: Tuesday April 1st, 2008 04:52 am |
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myrddin,
Are you saying there are sites that charge women but not men?
Opps! that statement didn't come out the way I planned. You are correct. I will adjust that post.
Ronin
P.S. Welcome to the RWPrimer!
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myrddin
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Posted: Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 02:43 am |
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Thanks, Ronin!
I've actually been lurking for a while, since I have more to learn than to teach.
RWPrimer was the first forum I discovered and I'm glad I spent most of my early time reading up instead of jumping in to the dating sites headfirst and without a net 
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ronin1
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Posted: Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 07:49 pm |
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myrddin,
Thanks for the acknowledgement. BTW, how did you initially find the RWPrimer? Was it through the RWSource.com, web search or word of mouth?
Ronin
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myrddin
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Posted: Saturday April 5th, 2008 03:27 am |
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ronin1 wrote:
BTW, how did you initially find the RWPrimer?
Short answer is: web search.
I actually found it in the middle of preparing a profile (on Anastasia  ). I delayed any profiles while I spent a few weeks reading as much as reasonably possible. I liked the fact that most of the informative posts here were just the right length (about one screen page).
I know I have a lot to learn, but I think I am at the point where at least my mistakes are less likely to be among the classics
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ronin1
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Posted: Saturday April 5th, 2008 08:17 pm |
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myrddin,
Your quote:
I liked the fact that most of the informative posts here were just the right length (about one screen page).
This is exactly why I started this site. To make any topical info readily available and in a form that is quickly and easily digestable. Thanks for the confirmation that I'm doing things right. Spread the word.
Ronin
Last edited on Monday November 17th, 2008 08:28 pm by ronin1
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